


Same Time Next Week

by queerstang (rosethomass)



Series: Escort Verse [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Adultery, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Escort Service, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-07-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 18:01:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 36,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1867257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosethomass/pseuds/queerstang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things a politician is expected to do: get married, get bored of their marriage, hire an escort, have an affair. Falling in love with the escort isn't on the list, but Roy had never been good at doing what he was told. Besides, this was all Maes' fault anyways.</p><p>(contains adultery, and mentions of past Roy/Maes)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> heavily inspired by the movie A Perfect Ending, particularly the beginning. the rest of it kind of just took a life of its own oops. it's a really good movie and i recommend it if you want to cry your fucking eyes out at the end. don't worry, i don't do sad fic endings, i ain't about that life. enjoy!!

“When was the last time you had sex?”

Only over a decade of friendship with Maes kept Roy from blinking stupidly at the unexpected question. As it is, he barely reacts and lowers the bottle of beer from his lips to answer, “Last week.”

“Follow up question.” Maes waves his own half-full bottle around airily. “When was the last time you had sex that you _enjoyed_?”

_With you_ , Roy barely resists answering and instead shrugs his shoulders, slumps lower in his chair. “Why are you asking me this? When was the last time _you_ had sex you enjoyed?”

“Deflecting the question, Roy!” Roy waited a minute before Maes couldn’t resist answering anymore, a slightly dreamy look on his face. “Two days ago. Every time with Gracia feels like the first time.”

Resisting the urge to vomit, Roy chugged the last of his beer and let his head leaned back, glaring up at the ceiling. “I thought we were discussing my early mid-life crisis,” he told the immaculate white plaster.

“If this is a mid-life crisis, it’s been going on for a few years now,” Maes snorted.

“How many years would you say?”

“How long have you been married, again?”

Roy straightened his head just to shoot his friend a glare and Maes just smiled innocently.

“C’mon, Roy. You know I love Julia, she’s a lovely woman.” Roy sighed, let his head fall back again. “But I’m not the only one who was a little surprised when you proposed to her. You never were the marrying type. Especially with someone like Julia. I expected her to be one of your more short-lived flings. She just didn’t seem to be your… _type_ , y’know?”

“Considering my luck with who I actually _wanted,_ I thought a change might be appropriate.”

Maes was quiet—which in itself was unusual—and Roy winced a bit, risked a glance, and found him glaring from behind his glasses. He averted his eyes again and mumbled “Sorry” to the ceiling.

“How much longer are you going to hold that against me?”

“I shouldn’t; it’s petty of me.” Roy sighed, rubbed his forehead with two fingers. “I’m sorry. I guess I’ve had one too many.” He raised his empty bottle in demonstration. “You know I don’t resent you for picking Gracia, you _know_ that.”

“Then stop bringing it up.” Maes stretched out a leg, kicked Roy in the shin, and just like that, Roy was forgiven.

“I really don’t see how this conversation is going to help me out of my… _funk_ , as you called it,” Roy muttered, bringing the conversation back around to the original topic.

“I have been thinking about this for a while, actually, and I think I know what might help you.”

Roy would never say it out loud, but he was excited to hear whatever Maes had come up with. In the many years Roy had known him, Maes Hughes had rarely ever come up with a _bad_ idea. Maes was deceptively wise, and almost everything he suggested ended up being good for all involved. Except when he suggested he and Roy start having sex. That had kind of blown up in both their faces.

“I’ve heard of this… _service._ Completely confidential, utmost discretion, and totally legitimate.” Maes pulled a face. “Okay, maybe _legitimate_ is the wrong word, considering it’s not exactly legal, but it’s extremely professional.”

Roy narrowed his eyes at his friend. “Maes…”

“I hear the variety is quite extensive,” Maes was continuing. “’Something for every taste’, that’s their slogan. Maybe what you need is some excitement, something different.”

Roy blinked. Roy stared. Roy blinked again. Then he burst out laughing.

Maes pouted at him. Maes—fully-grown man, husband and father, head detective of the local police department— _pouted_ at him. “What’re you laughing about?”

“Ex-Excuse me,” Roy choked out between bursts of laughter, hand pressed to his face, “for finding it _hilarious_ that Maes Hughes, the goddamn paragon of marriage and fidelity, is suggesting to me that I cheat on my wife of six years. Oh, and, of course, he’s also a damn _cop_ and is recommending me I hire a _prostitute._ I’m sorry, but the irony is just too much.”

“This service prefers the term ‘escorts’.”

Roy barked another laugh.

“Maes, do you realize what you’re saying here?”

“Yes, I realize that I’m suggesting a politician trapped in a loveless marriage hire an escort. It’s not exactly something unheard of, you know.”

That sobered Roy up instantly. “My marriage is not loveless. I love Julia very much.”

Those hazel eyes knew too much, knew _Roy_ too much.

“Okay, say I believe you when you say you love her.” Maes crossed his ankle over his knee. “Are you _happy_ with her?”

Roy averted his eyes. “What’s the difference?”

“ _Roy._ ”

Roy was a politician—he could lie his way out of any situation. But not to Maes, never to Maes.

“I don’t usually condone adultery, or prostitution.” He was doing his ‘dad’ pose, as Roy had taken to calling it, with his elbow on the armrest, leaning his head on his knuckles, looking at nothing in particular as he imparted some fatherly wisdom. Roy resisted the urge to cross his arms like a stubborn teenager in response. “But you’re not ‘usually’. I care very much for Julia, and I feel bad disrespecting her like this, but _your_ happiness is more important to me, Roy. I really think taking on a lover will be good for you.

“Give them a call,” Maes insisted gently, leaning forward. “Tell them what you’re looking for, set up an appointment, and see how it goes. It’s just a trial run.”

“And what is it that I’m looking for, exactly?”

Maes cocked his head, pursed his lips. “Someone…someone who will understand your needs, who you can relate to, so you don’t feel so lonely. Someone your own age, preferably.”

***

The kid that was standing on the other side of the hotel door when Roy opened it was most definitely _not_ his own age.

His grin was sharp when his vivid yellow eyes landed on Roy, who was trying very hard not to show on his face how flustered he felt.

“Damn, Mr. _James_.” He laughed. “Why’d you even bother with a fake name?”

Roy was going to _murder_ Hughes. “So…you recognize me, then?”

The boy pushed past Roy into the hotel room, dumped his bag on the plush armchair and slung himself onto the sofa. “Yeah. But don’t worry. Company policy is we don’t talk about our clients to anyone. Plus, I don’t give enough fucks about politics to talk about you. Don’t even know what side you’re on or whatever, just know your face from the newspaper and TV.” He craned his neck back to look at Roy upside down, smirked at him. “Remember thinkin’ you were _way_ too hot to be some stuffy politician.”

Roy closed his eyes, breathed in through his nose, and closed the door as calmly as he could manage, feeling his stomach twisting and turning. “I believe there’s been some kind of mix-up,” he said. “I specifically requested—”

“Jeff, I know.” The kid was lounging on the sofa now, arms pillowing his head, boots kicked off and feet up on the cushion, one ankle over a knee. “But he had his nephew’s bar mitzvah today so he asked me to fill in for him, sorry. I owed him a favor, anyways.”

Roy came around the couch, looked him up and down—or side to side, since he was horizontal. He was short, had barely come up to Roy’s chin when he’d opened the door, long blonde hair tied up in a ponytail, with long bangs over his face and some stupid little lock sticking up from his forehead. He was dressed in a white shirt with a brown waistcoat and matching brown slacks. His black socks had holes in them.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about—“ It was very hard to get his jaw to loosen up enough for him to talk— “but I requested someone _my own age_ , which you clearly are not. Are you even eighteen yet?”

An eyebrow quirked and a sharp gaze hit Roy straight in the face. “I’m twenty-two, asshole.”

Roy gaped. “I was under the impression that your company was a _professional_ one.” He was going to murder Hughes. Slowly. With _fire_. “Is this how you talk to all your clients?”

“Like I said, we don’t talk about our clie—wait.” The boy shot up, sitting up straight on the couch like he’d been zapped. “You’ve never worked with us before?”

“This would be the first time, yes. And quite possibly the last, based on this experience.”

“Ah, shit.” The kid let his face fall in his hands. “Damn moron, Jeff. Didn’t tell me you were a newbie. We’re supposed to act all _seductive_ and _comforting_ with newbies.”

“A bit late for that,” Roy muttered.

“Any chance of me making it up to ya?” he asked, looking up at Roy with a quirked head, an easy grin on his face, a suggestive tilt to his eyebrow.

Roy glared. “Nice try.”

The boy was on his feet in front of Roy then, grinning up at him. “Oh, come on. I may not be what you ordered and I may have a bad attitude, but I’m pretty good with my mouth. And I’m really bendy. You came all this way with the intention of getting laid, why waste the opportunity?”

And there was an idea.

But already, this whole experience had been awful.

And he’d doubted this whole thing from the beginning.

Was it worth it? Was it really worth the hit to his conscience? Was it really worth disrespecting Julia?

“That’s a tempting offer,” he said, putting space between them, “but I’m going to have to decline. This was a bad idea to begin with.”

The boy frowned. “How come? Is it ‘cause of your wife? I don’t pay much attention to politics, but I know enough to know you’re married.”

Roy sighed. “Yes. I shouldn’t have called in the first place. I should just leave.” He stepped away, went around the couch and towards the door.

“Hey,” the boy called and Roy looked at him over his shoulder. “If you decide you wanna try again, make sure you specify that you don’t want Edward.”

“You’re Edward?”

“Yeah. Figured you wouldn’t want to accidentally get stuck with me again.”

As if Roy would be calling them again. He grabbed his coat from the hanger and walked out the door.

***

It wasn’t until he was driving home that he remembered that he had taken off his wedding ring out of guilt before Edward had shown up and left it on the table in the hotel room.

“ _Shit,_ ” he spat at the steering wheel.

***

“Yes, hello, this is Mr.—” Roy paused, debated whether there was any use in using his fake name since Edward had recognized him instantly “—James.” Better safe than sorry. “I’m calling for—”

“James?” the female voice on the other side said. “Oh…oh right! The boss actually wanted to speak with you personally, if you’ll give me a minute I’ll put him through.”

Roy waited. The hold music was oriental.

The line clicked.

“Mr. James?” The voice was male this time, and _young_. Was it another secretary?

“Yes?”

“May I personally apologize for yesterday’s mishap? Transferring appointments is not allowed without clearing it with me first and that one was definitely not cleared with me. Both employees involved have been put on probation.”

“Well, that’s…good to hear, I suppose. But I’m actually calling about—”

“Your ring, yes. Ed told me. You’d be surprised how often things like these happen to us. I hope you didn’t get into too much trouble with your spouse.”

“She’s a very…understanding woman.” She’s extremely intelligent and sharp and she’s not fooled for a second; she just doesn’t care. “Could I drop by your office tomorrow to pick it up?”

“No, I’m afraid that’s impossible. We don’t disclose the location of our offices to clients. But Ed would be more than happy to meet with you in the same place to return it.”

Roy swallowed. “Isn’t he on probation?”

“I’m allowing him this one appointment for the special circumstances.”

“An appointment? I just want my ring back. Maybe I could meet with him somewhere else, somewhere a little more public, just so he could return it.”

“It’s against company policy to arrange meetings outside of Reed hotels. I need to protect my employees, you understand.”

“I understand.” Roy held back a sigh, pinched the bridge of his nose. “An appointment, then. Would I be charged for this appointment?”

There was a pause on the other end of the line. “The hotel room bill is on the house this time, but as for a service charge…that would be up to Ed.”

What kind of company let the employees decide if a client was charged or not?

“Should I set up the appointment?”

“I suppose. Thank you for your help, Mr….?”

“Call me Ling. And there’s no problem, sir. Again, I apologize for this whole mess.”

***

“My ring, please.” Roy held out a hand. The kid—Edward—gave it a look, then ignored it and sidestepped around Roy and entered the hotel room.

“What’d you tell your wife? Left it at the office? It was stolen? Dog ate it?” He flung himself on the couch again, shimmied a bit to get comfortable and sighed happily, closing his eyes.

“Sent it to get polished, actually,” Roy muttered, closing the door and running a hand over his face before walking over to the infuriating blonde creature lounging like a prince in a hotel room he hadn’t even been invited into.

Edward barked a laugh. “Fuckin’ classic.”

“May I have it back now, please? Do you even have it?” Roy had always considered himself a patient man, but now he was starting to doubt it.

A dangerously yellow eye slit open to look up at him. “The fuck you insinuating, Mustang? Think I pawned it off or somethin’?”

“Well, I don’t know you, now do I?”

“No, you fucking don’t.” Edward was on his feet in an instant, standing in front of Roy and glaring up at him. “So where do you get off making accusations like that?” He reached into his pants pocket and held up the gold circlet in front of Roy’s face.

Roy actually deflated, his pride taking a bit of a hit once he’d realized he felt chastised by a boy fourteen years his junior.

“You’re right,” he said softly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have insinuated anything against your character. May I please have my ring now?”

“Damn right you shouldn’t’ve insinuated shit.” He let the ring fall from between his fingers into his palm, closed his hand into a fist and shoved it back into his pocket. “And no, you can’t, not just yet.”

And just like that, Roy’s irritation was back in full swing.

“See, I, unlike you,” Edward was saying airily, flopping back down onto the couch, “take the time to learn about a person before making judgments on them. And I have a theory about you, Roy Mustang. Before I give you this ring, I’m gonna share my theory.”

“I don’t have time for your games!” Roy snapped, hands clenching into fists at his sides.

Edward grinned lazily up at him. “’Oh, I’m sorry, dear, I know I told you I’d have the ring back by today, but they’re making sure it’s _extra_ shiny so it might be a little longer.’”

“That ring is extremely valuable,” Roy growled, “and it does not belong to you, you little thief. I could have you arrested for keeping it.”

Edward laughed then, sharp and a little cruel. “What are you going to tell the police, idiot? That you hired a hooker and he stole your wedding ring? Go ahead, I’d love to see how the press deals with _that_ story.”

“ _You insufferable little—”_

“Who’s little?!” Edward snarled, teeth bared, and for a long moment, they just stared at each other, practically growling like a pair of angry dogs. “Would it really kill you to just humor me for a second? Listen to my theory, and I’ll give you your ring back. I won’t even charge you for the time.”

Roy glared at him for a moment longer, could see there was no way out of this situation short of physically attacking Edward to get the ring back and Roy knew that wouldn’t end in his favor, and there was no way to wear the boy down. He practically exuded stubbornness.

With a sigh, Roy sank into the armchair near the couch and muttered, “Theory?”

“Yup. I may be a prostitute, but I’m actually a scientist at heart. Theories are my lifeblood.” Edward took out the ring and held it above his face, light glinting off of it as if winking at Roy. “So here’s the data I collected about you: Roy Mustang, young, handsome politician. One of the few openly bisexual politicians, was quite the player before he settled down and married a very pretty country club girl named Julia, who comes from a rather well-off family. Did you know you have your own Wikipedia page?”

“I was aware.”

“Mr. Bigshot.” Edward snickered. “That’s the data I got from researching. Data collected by myself is this: he hires male prostitutes in his spare time, but feels so guilty about it he doesn’t actually do anything. It’s not a lot to go on, but it is enough for me to formulate the theory that you need something beyond just sex.”

Roy swallowed. “Why do you think that?”

“You’re openly bi, a huge advocate for LGBT rights, and a notorious playboy—you’ve dated supermodels, actors, directors, artists, activists, a whole variety of weird people—but then you settle down with Miss Country Club, the ideal politician’s wife? It was a safe choice because you need voters to believe that even though you have all these wild political ideals, you are still a decent, conservative family guy at heart.”

“How _dare_ you assume you know _anything_ about my marriage and my wife?” Roy spat, infuriated.

“I _assume_ this because you called us,” Edward replied easily, unfazed by Roy’s rage. “You went from unpredictable wild card to mama’s boy, and you’re hiring male prostitutes? Your wife is still young, still beautiful, so you don’t have the excuse the other older, stuffy politicians have. It’s not sex you’re missing, it’s excitement. You’re _bored_ , Mustang.”

There was a pause, Roy waited for more and when nothing else came, said, “Is that all, then? I’ve listened to your theory, so now you give me my ring.”

Edward slipped off the couch and onto his feet to stand in front of Roy. “Aren’t you gonna tell me if my theory’s right, though?” He held out the ring and Roy took it warily in case Edward snatched it away again or pulled some other trick.

“That wasn’t part of the deal,” Roy replied, slipping the ring onto his finger.

“But I’m curious.” Edward leaned down, hands on either armrest, caging Roy in. “How’re you gonna get the excitement you’re so desperately missing in your life if you’re too chickenshit to reach for it?”

“This isn’t about _fear,_ it’s about loyalty to my wife.” Roy pressed himself back against the armchair, trying to get as much space between him and the boy. Edward just leaned in closer.

“I’m sure she’s a lovely lady,” Edward murmured, looking up at Roy through dark eyelashes. “But when was the last time your heart raced for her? When was the last time you looked at her and you could _feel_ how much you wanted her? The last time you touched her and it didn’t feel like it was something you _had_ to do, it was something you _wanted_ to do, something that you did because you felt like you were going to _die_ if you didn’t?”

His bangs were brushing Roy’s cheeks now, his breath was warm on Roy’s skin, and Roy could smell something musky and so, so sweet on him and wondered if that was just Edward’s scent, or the scent of a client he’d been with before coming to Roy, or maybe a mix of both.

“You think you can make me feel all those things?” Roy asked, trying hard not to stare at Edward’s lips, which smiled like a Cheshire cat.

“Did I say anything about me?” he asked. “I never mentioned _me,_ I was asking about _her_. I was asking about _you._ ” The tip of Edward’s nose touched Roy’s and Roy was frozen, practically sewn into the armchair for all the movement he could manage. “When was the last time you got something that you actually, honestly _wanted_?”

Edward was dangerous at this proximity. His arms and legs caged Roy into the armchair, and his eyes, his devilishly yellow eyes felt like tacks on him and Roy found he was properly pinned even though Edward was barely even _touching_ him.

Forcing a smirk on his face, Roy tried not to show how Edward’s words had hit his core as he said, “You’re really very good at this game.”

Edward cocked his head in question and Roy raised his hand and touched it to his chest— _bad idea, bad idea, it’s so firm I want to feel it some more—_ and pushed him back gently, just enough that he could get himself to his feet and use his height advantage to regain control of the situation. “You’re not getting paid for this visit unless you request it, and if I fell for your seductions then I would have no choice but to pay you. Very clever.”

Edward rolled his eyes and stepped away. “There you go again, assuming everything I do is about money. If you have such a shit opinion on sex workers, don’t go around soliciting us. It just makes you a filthy hypocrite.”

“So you’re going to tell me that you trying to seduce me is really just because you want to have sex with me? It has nothing to do with the money at all?”

“Why do you keep making this about _me_? All this time, I’ve been asking about _you_ and what _you_ want.”

“Why do you care?”

Edward shrugged, looked away. “I’m curious. I don’t get you. Like I said, I’m a scientist at heart. I don’t like it when I don’t understand things.”

Roy let out a huff of breath. “Based on your little hypothesis of me, I’d say you ‘get’ me pretty well.”

Edward’s grin was sharp and blinding. “So I was right?”

Roy had always prided himself in being a good judge of character. His career depended on it. And, judging from how successful his career had been so far and promised to continue being, he really could read people as easily as he thought he could. Edward was confusing and enigmatic—there were layers and sides to him that Roy couldn’t quite work out—but he was positive the boy wasn’t malicious, he wasn’t interested in Roy or his career or his image and, more importantly, destroying them. Maybe there would be no harm in telling his woes to this persistent brat.

“I suppose you were,” he admitted, falling back into the armchair. Edward took a seat on the couch, a respectable distance away now, watching him intently and Roy felt ridiculously like a patient on a psychiatrists’ couch. “I grew up in a brothel, by the way, so if you think I have a negative opinion on sex workers, you are mistaken.” Edward’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline. “This isn’t something that’s of common knowledge, and I hope this doesn’t end up in TMZ tomorrow, but yes, sex workers have been more like family to me than my wife’s family.”

“But you basically insinuated I was a money-hungry asshole.”

“That’s more to do with the fact that you’re infuriating than the fact that you’re an escort.”

Edward glared and Roy grinned.

“I grew up in a very lively bar with very lively people and when I grew up, I continued surrounding myself with people like the women I knew as a child. Artists and idealists, people who were filled with… _fire_ , I guess. People who ignited fire in _me._ But I had always been a visionary, I had always wanted to change things, and the only way I could see to do that was by going into politics, which isn’t a very passionate practice. It’s dirty and cheap and plastic, and even though I love it, it’s nothing like…” He tried to find the way to describe his past life, found the perfect memory to encapsulate it with a bitter smile. “Like camping out and getting high in front of government buildings with a lover in protest to a law that was trying to take your rights from you.”

“You did that?” Edward’s eyes shone.

“Once,” Roy chuckled. “I was a teenager. It was a big protest rally. There were many people there. We were there for three days.”

“That was _legal?_ ”

“No. Many got arrested. I got away.”

Edward whistled. “Damn. And you went from _that_ …to _this._ ”

Roy leaned his head on a hand, elbow propped up on the armrest. He could remember the heat of lips pressed to his neck, the heavy cloud of drugs in his brain, watching cops drag away a pair of fellow protesters and the words _those pigs ain’t ever taking me away from you, babe_ whispered into his ear. The man had been six years older than him and Roy had only met him a week earlier. He’d met a sandy-haired guitarist at the rally and run off with him and Roy had never heard from him again.

“I’ve had to make sacrifices for my career,” he says.

“But you miss the life you used to have.”

Did he miss the hangovers and waking up in stranger’s homes and fickle lovers that composed sonnets to him one minute and then forgot his name once they had a bottle in their hands? He’d never cared for that, never cared for the loneliness surrounded by a dozen people.

“Not particularly. It was a very lonely life. What I miss is…the _passion_ , I suppose. Julia is…beautiful. She’s intelligent and charming, but you’re right about her. I haven’t felt that sheer, unfiltered _want_ for her in a long time, if ever.” Julia held no fire for him. And Roy had never just felt attracted to fire, he’d craved it.

“When was the last time you wanted someone?”

_Maes_ , is the automatic answer, but he stamps it down. “A friend of mine. A good friend, my best friend. We had an affair before I met Julia, before he met his own wife. It was brief, and…volatile. We both knew we’d end up destroying each other if we let it go on for too long but we—I suppose _loved_ is the wrong word. It’s all about wanting, isn’t it? We wanted each other too much. So it was a kind of blessing when he met Gracia, because he found something he wanted more and we were able to break it off without hating each other. I met Julia soon after, and he and I remained friends.”

Edward pursed his lips, thought for a moment and then said, “So you married Julia, not for appearance’s sake, but because you were heartbroken?”

Roy looked away, ran a hand over his mouth. “After such an explosive relationship, I thought it would be best to go for something a little safer.”

“But safe is boring to you.”

“It’s certainly been a change,” Roy said wryly.

“Then change it back.”

“It’s easier said than done, Edward.”

Edward sighed like Roy was stupid. “Do you want me?”

Roy gave himself a moment to recover from the conversational whiplash before he answered. “Excuse me?”

“Do. You. _Want._ Me?” Edward looked at him as if he was stupid.

“I—” Pause. Edward was certainly attractive with his bright yellow hair, his exotic golden eyes, the sharpness of his grin, the angle of his jaw. His body beneath his clothes promised to be lean and lithe. His tongue and wit were wicked and his temper was fiery. Roy _craved_ fire. “Yes.”

Edward’s grin made Roy feel like a mouse that had admitted to wanting to get eaten by a snake.

The boy—and, really, he was twenty-two, maybe Roy should stop thinking of him as a ‘boy’—got to his feet and stepped in front of Roy, leaned down again, hands braced on the armrests. Roy watched his movements with wary eyes but remained still, didn’t tense up at his proximity this time, just watched.

Roy hadn’t kissed someone other than his wife in six years. Roy had forgotten kisses like this existed.

Edward’s tongue was wet velvet in his mouth, his lips were warm satin, and Roy felt all the air leave his lungs as if it had been stolen. He made a small noise of—desperation? hunger? pain?—as he responded to the kiss, hand pulling Edward down by the neck, bringing him closer so Roy could bury himself completely in the taste of him.

They kissed for a minute, maybe two—maybe five, maybe ten—and when they pulled away Roy’s vision was blurred because he had forgotten that you had to breathe during kisses like that, forgotten that people could kiss like that, forgotten what this felt like. Like your body was burning and the only remedy was to be touched and touch in return.

“That was free of charge, by the way,” Edward grinned and Roy was pleased to notice that he was pretty out of breath himself.

“How much more can I get away with before you start charging me?” One kiss and he was hooked. Had he really been this starved? Or was it just Edward’s natural magnetism that had him so drawn?

Edward snorted and pulled away. Roy barely resisted reaching out and pulling him back down. “Today? Not much. I actually wasn’t expecting to stay this long. Made plans with my brother tonight and now I’m gonna be late, so…”

Roy frowned.

“I get off probation in two weeks.” Roy had forgotten about that. He felt bad about it now. “Call, make an appointment, and I’ll be back.”

Roy wanted to kiss him again. And Edward was so insistent about him going for the things he wanted, so he only thought about it for a moment before he got to his feet, and that put him practically chest-to-chest with the other man. He leaned forward, nudged Edward’s chin with a finger to angle his face upwards, and pressed their lips together. This kiss was softer, simpler, more tender, a promise rather than a drink to save a man dying of thirst. Edward smiled into it.

“I’ll see you then, Edward.”

The smile didn’t falter as Edward wrinkled his nose in distaste. “If we’re gonna do this, call me Ed.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm going to try my hardest to update this fic every week either on sundays or mondays but i know how i am when i make promises like that, so don't expect that to be a concrete thing. *sigh* i suck. oh well, enjoy the smut :3

The day after Roy made the appointment for two weeks from then, he estimated how many times he could get cold feet in the span of those two weeks.

The answer, he realized as he paced in the middle of the hotel room the day of the appointment, was seven in the two weeks prior to the day and at least two dozen in the minutes between his own arrival at the hotel and the moment when Edward knocked on the door.

He had dialed the number to the service agency multiple times, thumb hovering over the ‘Call’ button, rehearsing the words he would say to politely cancel the appointment because he’d changed his mind, he really didn’t need their services after all, thank you very much, yes, have a nice day as well, goodbye now. Then he thought of Edward’s lips on his, and the taste of his tongue, and he noticed his throat was dry and he was aching for something and his thumb was erasing the agency’s number from the screen before he told it to.

Now he was wearing a rut into the very lovely Persian rug under his feet and he was wringing his hands—he had developed the habit of twirling the gold band around his finger when he got too nervous and no one was around to see him do it, but since he’d taken it off upon arriving and placed it safely in his coat pocket before hanging it up, all he was doing was rubbing the skin on his ring finger raw.

What if he ran before Edward arrived? What if he bumped into the man on his way out and then Edward would know he was a coward?

Would he really be a coward if he ran? Wouldn’t running away be considered strength—not succumbing to temptations and holding firm to the vows he had made to his wife?

Or was running away from what he really wanted the more cowardly option?

Roy took a deep breath, shook his head to clear it, exhaled slowly. Either option he took, he was weak and a coward. With one of them, at least he got some satisfaction out of it.

The knock on the door nearly made Roy jump out of his skin.

“Nice to see you again,” Edward said brightly as he entered the room after Roy opened the door for him—politician’s mask of composure well in place.

“You say that like you’re surprised.” Roy closed the door and it sounded like a whip crack in his ears. He watched as Edward dumped his bag on the armchair and started to slip the coat off his shoulders—casually, nothing sensual or seductive in his movements—and said, “Let me.”

With an amused lilt to his questioning eyebrow, he turned around and let Roy carefully pull the coat off his arms the rest of the way. As Roy hooked the brown coat next to his black one on the hanger, Edward—hadn’t he asked Roy to call him ‘Ed’?—said, “I figured you’d come to your senses by now.”

“You think what I’m doing is insensible?”

“I think _you_ think what you’re doing is insensible.”

“So you wish I hadn’t called?”

“Never said that.” Ed quirked his head a bit, as if looking at Roy from another angle would help him understand the man better.

“ _Do_ you wish I hadn’t called?”

Ed’s lips split into an easy grin. “Not at all. Just the opposite, actually.”

Roy would be flattered if he thought Ed meant it.

He took a step forward so he was right in front of Ed, and the man—so much shorter than him—angled his face upwards to keep eye contact, grin never faltering. Roy leaned forward slightly, brushed his own lips against that smile, and Ed’s eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks before pressing back just a bit in response.

A hand snaked up Roy’s chest, warmth seeping through the fabric of his shirt into his skin, and the lightest pressure pushed him back barely an inch, just enough for Edward to breathe against his mouth, “What do you want from me?”

Taking Ed’s hand in his, Roy thought about that. This close to Ed’s face, his vision swam with gold—Ed’s eyes, Ed’s hair, Ed’s glowing skin.

“I want you to act like you wouldn’t rather be anywhere else in the world than in that bed, with me.”

Ed’s laugh was light, airy. “That’s a really nice bed. And you’re extremely sexy. I think I can manage that.”

“Good.” And then Roy was claiming Ed’s mouth, tugging Ed in closer, and Ed was responding in earnest, kissing back with fervor, hands tugging on Roy’s shirt to pull him down, pull him in, pull him apart.

Ed’s waistcoat fell to the ground and Roy resisted the urge to pick it up and lay it carefully over the sofa or something—clothes as nice as that shouldn’t be left to rumple on the ground, in his opinion. But Ed was pressing their chests together and the muscles of Ed’s back felt very nice through his shirt and Roy figured the waistcoat could wait; he wanted his hands on Ed’s skin _right now._

The buttons on Ed's shirt came undone easily under Roy's fingers—he should be fumbling, he should be shaking, he should be nervous, why did this feel so simple to him?; a surge of guilt hit him in the chest and he stamped it down—and then his fingertips were brushing over Ed's collarbone and down his chest. The skin he touched erupted in goosebumps and Ed pulled away to smirk at him before undoing Roy's shirt buttons as well, ducking down to attach his lips to the exposed skin, peppering light kisses over it and Roy wondered if Ed saw this as a kind of a competition. Who could get the other to react more?

Ed's fingers were kind of chilly on Roy's warmed skin, trailing down his chest and over his stomach muscles, mouth following the path they made. Roy watched his golden head go lower as he crouched to kiss and— _oh_ —lick at every inch of Roy's skin. It had been a while since someone had touched him like this, since someone had tasted his body and savored it.

It had been a while since he savored someone else, too.

Roy pulled Ed up by the shoulder, turned him around and pressed the boy's back to his chest, leaning down to kiss at his neck. As he pushed down Ed's loose shirt, his mouth followed the new skin of his shoulder, pressed a trail of kisses there and Edward hummed happily, arching his neck and resting his head against Roy's shoulder. Using both hands, Roy tugged Ed's shirt off his arms and let it fall to the floor along with the forgotten waistcoat and then Edward was shirtless in front of him, against him, and his naked back was pressed to his own exposed chest and that skin contact was absolutely delicious.

Ed’s ponytail brushed against Roy’s cheek and he reached a hand up, slowly pulled the tie out and watched Ed’s beautiful hair cascade over his shoulders. He ran his fingers through it, watched it part around his fingers and felt it slide against his skin like silk. Ed turned around in his arms, reached up to link his arms around Roy’s neck and pull him down to kiss him again.

Shoving Roy’s shirt off his shoulders, Ed started to walk him towards the bed, still nuzzling his lips against Roy’s, keeping his hands firm on Roy’s body. Then both his lips and the warmth of his skin against Roy’s was suddenly gone and he was sitting on the edge of the bed, grinning up at Roy before ducking in to press his lips and tongue to the older man’s abs, hands on his hips, pulling him close.

Roy fit himself between Ed’s spread thighs, head bowed as he watched Ed kiss and nip at the skin of his stomach, one hand drifting to the front of his pants to palm the bulge that was growing there, and Roy sucked in a breath at the light pressure, angling his hips towards it. Ed pressed in harder, running the heel of his palm against it before pulling down the zipper and undoing the button and shoving Roy’s pants down enough to get to his underwear.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Roy grunted as Ed ran his tongue over his still-clothed dick, getting the soft fabric wet and clinging. Ed nuzzled his cheek against it then and curled his fingers into the waistband of Roy’s boxers.

Before he could react, Ed had was tugging on his belt loops hard enough to have him toppling over onto the bed next to him. He bounced in a very undignified manner and was just about to protest, but Ed was chuckling and pulling off his boots and socks, and Roy just glared at his back. Ed then stood up and went to the armchair where he’d left his small backpack.

“So y’know you can call me Ed,” he was saying as he rummaged through his bag, “but what do you want me to call you?”

“Roy will do.” Roy took the opportunity to kick off his shoes and pull off his socks too, pulling his legs up onto the bed and resting against the pillows as Ed turned back around with a bottle of lube and some condoms in his hand. With a grin, he padded back to the bed, leaving the items next to the pillow and crawling over Roy’s lap, leaning forward and ghosting his lips over the other man’s.

“ _Roy_ ,” he murmured sweetly and it sent a shiver down Roy’s spine. His hands, warmer now, ran up from Roy’s hips, over his stomach, over his chest, brushed his nipples, snaked around his neck, buried their fingers in his hair at the back. Ed shimmied closer, bringing his hips right over Roy’s and said against Roy’s mouth, “You can touch me, you know. Touch me all you want.”

It’s not that Roy had thought he wasn’t allowed to—it’s just that he’d been so enchanted by Ed’s movements that he’d forgotten to. But he quickly recovered, running his hands up Ed’s thighs to his hips and bringing him closer, craning his neck and reaching up for Ed’s mouth that hovered just slightly out of reach. He could feel the warm breath coming out of Ed’s parted lips against his own, could see the slash of gold of his heavy-lidded eyes.

Roy turned his head, kissed Ed’s jaw instead, hands snaking forward to meet in the middle—on the zip of Ed’s pants. He curled his fingers over the bulge there and Ed made a little humming noise of approval, arching his neck so Roy could lick it. He cupped Ed’s balls through his pants, put pressure on the curve of his erection as he fondled him and Ed moaned that time, rutting his hips slightly against Roy’s palm.

With his other hand, he undid the zipper and pushed his hand into Ed’s pants, pressed his warm palm against the curve of Ed’s half-hard dick, ran his fingers over the clothed tip. Ed made a choked sound, hitched his hips, rut against Roy’s hand and Roy applied more pressure, jacked him off as best he could at the weird angle.

Letting out a frustrated growl, Ed pulled Roy’s hands away from his pants and got off his lap so he could pull off his own pants and underwear, and then he was curling his hands into Roy’s remaining clothes and wrenching them off his legs.

The hotel room was a bit cold and, suddenly naked, Roy’s skin rose in goosebumps and he shivered a bit, but Ed quickly warmed him up, getting into Roy’s lap again and pressing their chests together.

Roy would have appreciated a little more foreplay, but he wasn't going to complain when Ed was kissing him full on the mouth, running his tongue over his palate and reaching over for the lube and condoms at the same time. He tore the wrapping of the condom with his teeth and smirked at Roy as he shimmied a bit to give him more room to roll it down Roy's cock. Then Ed slicked him up with lube and Roy almost choked on his shock when he adjusted his hips, aligning himself and started to sink down slowly.

"You...you're already prepped?" Roy asked, hands resting on Ed's hips for lack of anywhere else to go, watching as Ed sunk slowly down onto his dick. There was only minimal resistance and a little furrow between Ed's brows to show slight discomfort, but nothing to say he was in pain.

"Mm...yeah...speeds up the process," Ed replied, eyes screwed shut as he focused, seating himself completely with a content little exhale of breath. He rolled his hips a bit and Roy's breath lodged in his trachea. "Hmm...that feels nice..."

While it _was_ nice—a bit of an understatement, though—as Ed rocked his hips slowly against Roy's, lips pressed to the other man's, arms wrapped around his neck, Roy couldn't help but feel a bit cheated, like he was missing out on something. If the little hitched breaths and whimpers Ed was making as he moved on Roy's cock were anything to go by, he was the kind to be very vocal when getting fingered—something Roy had always enjoyed, a very intimate part of having sex with someone.

"Can I ask you to not prepare yourself beforehand next time we meet?" He still had his coherency for now, but he could feel it slipping away as Ed's muscles clenched around him and the sticky-wet tip of Ed's dick touched his stomach.

"Sure." Ed chuckled a bit, nuzzling his nose against Roy's cheek. "Already decided there's gonna be a next time, huh?"

As if Roy could go on with his life only having this _once_. Ed was pure sunshine in his arms, gold hair in his face and gold eyes smirking at him, and that heat—that _heat_ —that wasn't just inside him, but all over his body; in his fingertips when they ran down Roy's chest, in his tongue when he wrapped it around Roy's, his knees when he pressed them tighter against Roy's sides. Ed was a wildfire incarnate, riding him into the mattress, and Roy was so tired of cold beds.

Roy pushed up, startled a gasp out of Edward, and rolled them over, Ed's beautiful hair spilling out over the pillows. He was shorter than Roy, smaller, leaner, and he fit so beautifully under him. A small animal pinned beneath his larger body, writhing and moaning as Roy rocked his hips once, twice, three times, the fourth segueing into full-on fucking him.

"Oh, _fuck_ ," Ed gasped, teeth grit and neck arching, hips rocking to meet Roy's as they pounded into him. Roy's hands travelled up Ed's sides, his lips mouthing at his neck, and swept over his chest and his shoulders, reached up to unlock Ed's arms from around his own neck and pulled them up. With one hand, he pressed both of Ed's wrists against the pillows, and the other pulled at Ed's hips, angled him upwards as he continued to drive into that blessed heat.

"Fuck— _Roy_!" Ed seemed to be choking on his moans and Roy growled into his throat, " _Louder_."

A soft cry ripped from Ed's throat and he turned his head, buried his nose into Roy's hair and Roy could feel him panting against his ear.

They were both sweating soon after, enough that one of Ed's wrists slipped from Roy's grip and he wrapped it around Roy's neck again, blunt nails digging into Roy's shoulder and pulling him closer.

"Ed, _Ed_ ," Roy grunted and Ed let out a soft whimper, rolled his hips upward, making Roy choke. "Fuck..."

"C'mon, Roy, _fuck._.." The hand still in Roy's grip slipped too, but it didn't go far, just slid to interlock their fingers and Roy kept it pressed into the pillow like that. His other hand went up into Roy's hair, curled the fingers there, and he kissed at Roy's jaw and panted, "Roy, Roy _, c'mon_ , Roy." A soft whine escaped his lips, curled into Roy's ear canal, and vibrated along his spine.

Ed's hip was too sweaty to keep a hold of anymore so Roy let it go and Ed kept himself angled anyways. He managed to get his hand between their bodies, fingers trailing over the leaking tip of Ed's dick and Ed groaned in his ear. Ed's ankles were locked over the small of Roy's back and the hand in his hair pulled until Ed could get his mouth on his own and kissed him like he never wanted Roy to leave and Roy made them both come like that, thinking _Yes, this is exactly what I needed._

***

Maes was terrible at pool. Roy was great at pool. So Maes insisted Roy be at least partially drunk whenever they played so the playing field would be even. Roy blamed his slight drunkenness on his loose tongue, but really, part of him just wanted to talk about it, loudly and to anyone who would listen. Which was probably a bad idea, since this could ruin his reputation and career.

“So the sex was good?”

“The sex was _great_.” Roy aligned his cue stick, crouched down at eye-level with the table, pulled it back, and let it fly with just the right amount of force. He got the orange ball in the farthest hole. Even tipsy he was still a master. “Some of the best sex I’ve ever had.”

“I’ll try not to take offence to that.” Roy chuckled. “And what about the kid—?”

“He’s twenty-two, Maes, please don’t call him a kid. I feel dirty enough already.”

“Right. Okay. So, this _guy_.” Maes watched him with slightly resentful eyes as he aligned himself again. Maes had always been a sore loser. “What about him? Edward, right? What’s he like?”

“Insufferable.” There really was no other way to describe him. Roy didn’t get any balls in and cursed, making room for Maes to take his shot. “He was obnoxious and bratty when we weren’t having sex, and he seemed to delight in calling me names. His favorites were ‘asshole’ and ‘bastard’.”

“And that’s…a turn on for you?”

Roy whacked him in the calves with his cue stick. “No. But he does have his…charming moments, I suppose. He speaks with terrible grammar, but sometimes he uses these big words and I just know he’s dangerously intelligent, but he seems to play that close to his chest.” Maes took his shot, failed, and stepped aside for Roy. “I don’t know—I like the way he talks to me. He doesn’t try to butter me up or flatter me. In fact, he’s sometimes downright abrasive. But I enjoy it.”

“Didn’t know you were into that kind of thing,” Maes said teasingly and Roy entertained the idea of whacking him over the head this time.

“That’s not what I mean.” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “How do I explain this? I guess…I was afraid that I would get someone trying too hard to play a role, someone who was trying to be overly seductive or sexy, but he doesn’t seem to try. He doesn’t seem to care if he’s seductive or not, he just is. He’s simply very unapologetically himself, and after working around people who either bend over backwards to kiss your ass or tell lie after lie all day, it’s very refreshing to be with someone who doesn’t give a shit.”

“Huh.” Maes bent over the pool table again. “Sounds like a keeper. You gonna see him again?”

“Next week, actuall—Maes.” His friend froze just a second after hitting the cue ball. “You didn’t make one in the last time. It was _my_ turn.”

“Uh…no it wasn’t?” One of the balls made a hollow _thunk_ as it fell through the hole and Maes got into position again.

“Not like it matters,” Roy shrugged. “Even cheating, you have very little chances of beating me.”

“Hey!” Maes poked him in the ribs with the end of the cue and Roy whacked him in the shoulder in retaliation and soon they were swordfighting like children.

***

Before they’d gone their separate ways the previous week, Ed had told Roy that if he brought proof that he was clean, Ed could do ‘more stuff’ with him. So Roy had stopped by his private physician, gotten himself tested, and brought the printed evidence to Ed the next time they met up, and the paper was quickly forgotten after Edward skimmed it over—tossed aside and trampled underfoot as Ed latched onto the other man.

‘More stuff’ apparently included Ed’s intolerable, wicked, intoxicating mouth wrapped around his dick, the lovely blonde head of his bobbing up and down between Roy’s thighs and utterly _destroying_ him in the best way. When was the last time someone had done this for him? There’s no middle point with giving oral sex—you either love it or you hate it. Roy had always enjoyed giving, but Julia had never been a fan. She’d do it out of courtesy sometimes, but it was short-lived and unenthusiastic and—

—with _nothing_ like the pure vigor and ecstasy that Ed swallowed him down. Ed seemed to enjoy the hell out of it, moaning around Roy’s girth, popping off to run his tongue up the underside before pulling it between his lips again. It was slick and wet and messy and Ed seemed to know how to apply just the right amount of pressure to drive Roy insane. Ed’s hair was gold silk in his fingers and Ed’s mouth was sunny heat on his skin and every inch of him was alight.

And if Ed was beautiful on his knees, he was absolutely resplendent on his back, hair fanned out around his head, squirming onto Roy’s fingers. He was a vision—cheeks burning and bottom lip turning red from how hard he was biting it, eyes scrunched up and fingers curling and uncurling against the sheets. A gasp wrenched out of him opened his sweet mouth, his tongue snuck out to soothe at his own abused lip and his eyes cracked—just enough to blaze at Roy and Roy felt weak in the knees, would have fallen if he wasn’t already on them, leaning over the other man.

Maybe Ed was just a good actor, but he seemed to enjoy getting fingered just as much as giving head, if not more. Roy tried not to think about the possibility that he was faking it—then again, how does someone fake that pink flush on their chest and the sweat pooling in the dip of their collarbone? And those noises—the mewls and soft whimpers and small pants of breath—they seemed so natural, too sweet to be artificial.

Roy took Ed on his hands and knees that time, face pressed into the nape of his neck, tasting the sweat that gathered there and feeling Ed’s moans in his own sternum before they reached his ears.

When they finished and Roy collapsed onto the bed, got rid of the condom, and lay staring up at the ceiling as he waited for the stars to clear from his vision, Ed rolled over, curled up against Roy’s side and buried his nose in the dip of Roy’s shoulder. Limbs feeling like his bones were made of static, Roy lazily lifted his arm and Ed fit himself under it. He inhaled deeply, the air he exhaled cooled Roy’s sweat-slick skin, and he inhaled again, doing it over and over until his heart rate had settled back down.

“Well that fuckin’ rocked,” he mumbled and Roy huffed out a breath of laughter—it was the only thing he could manage at the moment. He did feel his chest swell with pride, though. “Didn’t think being prepped by someone else makes a difference—but it really does.”

“Hmm,” Roy replied eloquently. He was still too dazed to respond properly, but a pesky little thought niggled at him. Just how much experience did Ed have with sex outside of his job? Didn’t Ed have any kind of romantic life in his own time?

It wasn’t his place to ask, so they just lay there in silence for a while, pressed together and sharing heat. Until Ed’s stomach rumbled and he chuckled a bit.

“You mind if I call room service? Don’t worry, you don’t have to pay.” Ed looked up at, face inches away from Roy. Roy wanted to kiss him. “I’m starving. Haven’t eaten since noon.”

It’s not like Roy was going to be ready for another round for a while. “Of course.”

Ed was up like a shot, reaching over to the nightstand and picking up the phone. “Hello, room service? Hey. It’s Ed. Yeah. My usual, please. I’m in room—ah. Uh.” He put his hand over the receiver and turned to Roy. “I forgot the room number.”

“520.”

“Right, thanks.” He turned back to the phone. “I’m in room 520. All right, cool. Bye.”

So he was familiar enough with the hotel to have a ‘usual’ room service order. Roy recalled Ling mentioning that they didn’t do business outside of the Reed Inn hotels. If all appointments were held in this chain of hotels, of course Ed would be familiar with it.

“Why doesn’t your company do business outside of these hotels?” he asked curiously. He shifted on the mattress so he could sit up, shoving the starchy hotel pillows up behind his back so he could lean against them.

Ed’s expression darkened, and he averted his eyes, glaring a hole into the crisp white sheets they’d mussed up. “For our safety. It also helps because the hotel employees are under extremely strict confidentiality agreements, so they can’t talk about guests to anyone. But the main reason is our own protection. Sex workers have a higher chance of being…assaulted, and a lower chance of being taken seriously if we report it. If we can control the environment where we work, we can take better safety precautions. Since Ling made the deal with the hotel chain, unpleasant incidents have dropped down to zero.”

“That wasn’t the case before?”

Ed swallowed thickly. “No. Clients would have us go to their homes, or shady-ass motels, or God knows where. Ling couldn’t control what happened in those places and a few of us…had really unpleasant experiences.” Roy’s throat closed up with the fear that Edward had had one of those unpleasant experiences. “But, like I said, things are great for us now.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Roy smiled and Ed beamed back at him, flopping down onto the mattress and shimmied till he was resting against Roy’s hip.

There was a knock on the door a few minutes later with a voice calling, “Room service!” and Ed sang back, “Coming!” He jumped up onto his feet again, found his boxers and slipped them on, paused, then picked up Roy’s discarded white shirt and pulled it on too, doing up a few buttons and then going to open the door. Roy pulled the sheets up to his waist and settled into the pillows. The bed was blocked from view of the doorway, but he still felt a little nervous at being seen like this by anyone but Edward.

“Oh, hey, Rose,” he heard Ed greet cheerfully. “I didn’t know you worked this late.”

“I was just finishing my shift when I heard you were working tonight,” said a sweet, feminine voice in response. “Decided I’d come up and talk to you personally.”

“And by that you mean yell at me about something.” Roy quirked an eyebrow at that, but he couldn’t see the doorway from the bed. “Can I just get my food please?”

“You haven’t RSVP’d to my wedding yet!” the girl—Rose—reprimanded and Ed made an affronted choking noise. “I know you’re working, so I don’t wanna take up too much of your time, but I think it’s extremely rude that you haven’t replied yet.”

“I totally did! I mean…I asked Al to RSVP for me…”

“ _Al_ RSVP’d. _You_ still haven’t.”

“That little brat…Whatever, I’m going. Is that good enough for you?”

“Yes, it is. I’ll mark your name on the list. Will you be bringing a date?”

Ed sighed. “I don’t know. Al already called dibs on Winry, so… Why’d you have to invite _both_ of us? I could’ve brought Al as my plus-one.”

“Oh, Ed. Don’t you think it’s a little sad that your brother is always your go-to date for everything?”

“He’s not _always_ —”

“If he isn’t, then Winry is, and that is still sad. She’s practically your sister.”

“Rose, I’m starving! Can we have this discussion of my love life later so I can fuckin’ _eat_?”

“You’d have to have a love life in order to have a discussion about it.” Well. That answered Roy’s earlier doubts.

“Just for that, I’m not tipping you.”

“You weren’t going to tip me anyways!”

“Just for _that,_ I’m not getting you a wedding gift!”

“You were just going to put your name on the card for the gift that Al’s going to bring _anyways_.”

“Dammit, Rose, I’m gonna keel over! Gimme my damn food!”

Rose laughed cheerily and the light clatter of silverware sounded as the cart was pushed into the room. “See you later, Ed. Let me know if you get a date for the wedding.”

“Don’t hold your breath. See ya!”

The door closed and a moment later, a beaming Edward was pushing a cart laden with plates next to the bed and sitting on the edge. “Fuckin’ finally!” Ed exclaimed happily, pulling off lids and setting them aside. There was a _lot_ of food on that cart.

“Are…are you going to eat _all_ of that?” Roy asked tentatively, looking at the multiple entrees and sides and appetizers. Ed was relatively short and pretty lean. There was no way all that food was going to fit inside him.

“Hell yeah! Why? You want some?”

“Only if you feed it to me,” Roy teased with a silky smirk. A second later, he was choking on a croissant that Ed shoved into his mouth. “Ed!”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Ed said blandly as he started to cut up a steak and shove it into his mouth.

Roy chewed on his croissant broodily.

“Are you friends with all of the hotel staff?” he asked once he’d finished off the pastry.

“Not really.” Roy glared as Ed talked through his stuffed mouth. The little hypocrite. “Just Rose. We go back.”

“How far back, if you don’t mind my curiosity.”

Ed glanced at him out of the corner of his eye before turning back to focus on his food. “My brother and I met her two years ago after she’d escaped from this freaky brainwash-y cult and she didn’t have anywhere to go, or any money, or a job. She stayed with us for a while and I asked Ling if he could get her a job, but she was too reserved to be an escort, so he fixed it up so she could work here at the hotel instead. She met her boyfriend a year or so ago, and now they’re getting married.”

“A…cult?” Roy repeated slowly.

“Oh, yeah. Some serious brainwashing shit.” He gulped down some soda. “Spent most of the first few weeks with us calling us heretics and sinners for doing stuff like using a washing machine and listening to pop music. Al and I were watching a movie once that had a sex scene and she actually puked. She got better, though.”

“How’d she react when she heard what you did for a living?”

Ed chuckled. “She fainted and wouldn’t look me in the eye for a week. Now she’s cool about it. Hey, you want some of this stuff? I can eat it all by myself, but you can have some if you want.”

Roy took another croissant from the basket. They were really good.

Once Ed had cleared the plates—all of them, _all_ of the plates—he leaned back on his hands and made a satisfied noise. “So fuckin’ good.” He turned to look at Roy, who was licking some leftover glaze from his fourth croissant from his thumb and his eyes glinted deviously. “Time for dessert.” Roy balked. He still had room for more?

He took off the lid of the last undisturbed dish, revealing a lovely slice of white-and-yellow cream cake with lots of whipped cream and frosting, decoratively arranged on the plate. Ed carefully took the plate with its accompanying small fork and got onto his knees on the mattress, shuffling over to kneel over Roy’s lap. “Want some?”

Roy quirked an amused eyebrow. “I suppose I could give it a little taste.”

Forgoing the fork and grinning like an imp, Edward dipped his finger into the creamy frosting and scooped some up, then smeared it over Roy’s bottom lip and dove in after it, laving his tongue over it and then pushing it into Roy’s mouth for him to taste. The sugary sweetness of it coated Roy’s tastebuds, but it wasn’t nearly as tantalizing as the motion of Ed’s tongue against his.

Ed pulled away and smeared the rest of the cream on his finger down Roy’s jaw and the side of his neck and went down after it with his mouth.

“Hmm,” Roy hummed as Ed’s warm tongue worked over his skin. “Are you going to actually eat that cake or are you going to continue wasting it?”

With a final swipe of his tongue to clean off the remaining frosting, Ed asked, “You call this ‘wasting’?”

“Allow me.” Roy took the plate from Ed’s hand into both of his, picked up the small fork and cut off a small piece of the cake with it. Then he took the piece in two fingers and held it up and Ed, smirking the whole way, leaned forward to wrap his lips around it and suck the tip of Roy’s fingers clean in the process. Roy cut off another piece, watching with growing arousal as Ed unbuttoned his shirt— _Roy’s_ shirt—and took it into his mouth as well.

Repeating Ed’s motion from earlier, he took a scoop of cream on his finger and ran a line down Ed’s throat to the center of his chest, then licked it off. He scooped up some more and covered one of Ed’s nipples in it before latching his mouth to it.

“That’s _my_ dessert,” Ed chided without much heat. It lost any heat it did have with the way he was arching into Roy’s touch.

“And you’re mine,” Roy murmured against Ed’s chest, scraping his teeth lightly against Ed’s nipple to hear him gasp.

Later, before he left, Roy’s guilty conscience made him leave a note to the cleaning staff apologizing for the frosting stains on the bedsheets.

***

The pile of paperwork was steadily growing and Roy was used to this part of their routine, but for some reason, today the paperwork seemed to be falling onto his desk in a very menacing manner.

“Here is a list of next month’s budget that you need to approve, here is a consent form for an interview for that radio show we talked about,” Hawkeye was saying as she dropped paper after paper in front of him, not looking him in the eye. “This is a petition you need to decide if you’re supporting, these are the unemployment statistics you asked Falman to obtain, this is—”

“Hawkeye.” Roy fixed his assistant—and what an absolutely undermining title that was for all the things Riza did; if there was a woman behind every great man as the saying went, Riza was his—with a steady gaze and she finally deigned to raise her eyes to his. It was amazing how such a beautiful shade of warm brown could look so cold.

“You have an entire staff of devoted and loyal employees who work their fingers to the bone every day making sure your image stays clean so you can get to the top, sir,” she said; she’d never been one to beat around the bush. Her threats were always left understated and ominous, but her reasons for them were always to the point.

“You don’t need to remind me of that. You know how grateful I am to all of you.”

“Then you understand that you don’t have the right to screw this up. You don’t have the right to mess it up for all of us, because if you go down, we’ll have no choice but to go down with you. Some of us would still go down even if we did have a choice.” Roy gulped guiltily and Riza’s jaw tightened. Of course Riza knew. Roy was sure that he couldn’t sneeze without Riza knowing about it.

They stared at each other for a moment longer, mostly because Roy had no idea what to say to her. Riza was like Maes—the only two people in the world he couldn’t ever lie to. It was only when he tore his eyes away from hers that she sighed.

“I just hope you know what you’re doing, sir,” she said softly.

“I do.” Is it considered a lie if he sort of believes it?

Riza seemed to pick up on his uncertainty and her eyebrow quirked, but she didn’t comment on it further. “Good. Then I’ll leave you to your work, sir. You have an appearance to make at five, so be ready.”

“Of course.”

At the door, Riza paused and turned back. “I do have to say, though—it is nice to see a genuine smile on your face again, even if the reason behind it makes me want to shoot you.”

The door clicked when she closed it and Roy flinched like it was a gunshot.

***

His appointments with Ed became a weekly thing. They arranged the days and times they’d meet up on their third appointment and Ed assured him he’d make sure he was scheduled in every time and if he ever needed to change the date or cancel or arrange an additional appointment, all it would take was a phone call.

Roy found himself working towards Thursdays—the day they’d agreed on—like most people worked towards Saturdays. _Three more days, just get through this paperwork and it’ll be Thursday before you know it; just two more days, tell Julia her pot roast is delicious and you’ll be this much closer to Thursday; tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow._

Every now and then he entertained the idea of calling and scheduling an additional appointment before Thursday. The fear of looking as desperate and pathetic as he felt was the only thing that kept him from actually doing it, and each time he bemoaned just how much longer he’d have to wait to see Edward. And each time he tried not to think about just how far he’d fallen.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [cries at [moani's](starbucksbarnes.tumblr.com) feet] i hated this part for some reason and then she looked it over and helped me fix it and now i don't hate it so much and i owe her so much she is so perfect so thanks to her for everything

The past few days had wreaked havoc on Roy. Some maniac had decided to shoot up a strip mall in broad daylight and it had, of course, caused chaos. The guy had been arrested—with a grin on his face—which was good, but everyone had to deal with the aftermath. Investigations had been conducted, memorials had been held for the dozen people that had been killed, and discussions had been had on the matter by influential people. Roy Mustang being one of those.

He’d given his opinion on the matter—along with condolences to the families of the dead—and given some half-assed suggestion about what measures should be taken to prevent these things from happening again. But, really? What could be done? That man had wanted to kill people, and nothing was going to stop him from doing so. If people want to kill, people will kill.

Roy had talked about easier access for mental health programs and better gun control. The asshole conservatives in the opposition had cried about people trying to take their guns away but hadn’t actually suggested any counter-proposal for a solution.

His appointment with Ed couldn’t have been scheduled for a better time. What he needed now was to forget everything else for a little while, drown himself in Edward.

But Ed was over a half hour late and that just wasn’t like him. It wasn’t like him at all. It’s not like Ed was persnickety about punctuation, but he was never _this_ late. Roy was starting to fidget nervously in the hotel room, pacing the familiar Persian rug. It felt like déjà vu to the first time he and Ed had actually slept together, except that time Roy hadn’t had this prevailing sense of dread in the pit of his stomach.

His phone was on the side table next to the sofa. He knew the number to the agency by heart. He could just call, make sure Edward was all right. If he’d had to cancel for whatever reason, they would have called him, right? If they hadn’t notified him, it must mean that they didn’t know Edward wasn’t with him. Maybe something had happened to him…

Before the anxiety could choke him, there was a soft knock at the door and Roy felt like a popped balloon, deflating with relief.

“God, Edward,” he said as he opened the door. “You had me worried half out of my mind.”

Ed gave him a wan smile from the doorway. “Sorry. I’m not usually late.”

If Roy thought he felt worn out, it was nothing compared to what Edward looked like. There were thick purple bags under his eyes like he hadn’t slept in a while, his skin was pale, and his hair seemed lifeless, slipping out of his usually immaculate ponytail. Even the bright yellow of it looked duller than usual.

“You don’t look well,” Roy said, pulling him gently into the room and closing the door behind him. “Are you sick?”

Ed snorted dryly. “You could say that.” He avoided Roy’s eyes and his lips curled in distaste. “Look, I know I’m not exactly pretty right now, but we can still do…stuff if you want. I’m pretty out of it, but I’ll still like…function, y’know? Won’t be anything mindblowing, but I’ll give you a discount to make up for it, yeah?”

The last thing Roy was thinking about right now was having sex with Edward. And not because he looked unappealing, but because he looked like he was about to crumble if you moved him too much.

“Edward,” he said slowly. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m not contagious or anything, I swear.” He made an angry, derisive noise, but it didn’t seem directed at Roy. “I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have come in the first place, I’m sorry. That’s why I took so long, I kept turning around to leave and then turning back and I kept doin’ it and I’m just…I should’ve called them so they’d let you know I wasn’t comin’. This ain’t fair to you, I’m sorry.”

Roy took Ed’s face in his hands, angled it upwards so the boy would meet his eyes. “Stop apologizing. If you didn’t want to come, why did you?”

“I _did…_ wanna come,” he said tentatively, bitten off, like he realized he shouldn’t have said it halfway through saying it. “Wanted to…see you an’ stuff…and like…get away from everything for a bit. But I haven’t slept in like four days and I’m so fucked in the head right now that I’m like the world’s biggest boner-killer, so why would you even wanna see me?”

Something was clearly deeply, deeply wrong. “Come on,” he said gently. “Come sit. Talk to me.”

Edward didn’t seem to want to move on his own, so Roy wrapped an arm around his shoulders and led him to the couch. Ed sat down and leaned his head against the back, neck outstretched and eyes glaring at the ceiling.

“Would you like a drink?” Roy asked and when Ed shook his head, he sat down on the couch next to him, body angled towards the boy. “Why haven’t you been able to sleep?”

With his neck stretched out like that, his Adam’s apple bobbed ostentatiously when he swallowed. “You know that killer guy?” He rolled his eyes. “’Course you know the killer guy, it’s all over the news. Hell, you were on the news, talkin’ about him. I saw you, by the way.” He turned his head on the couch to give Roy a genuine—albeit weak—smile. “You looked hot.”

“Thank you.” Ed’s smile widened just a fraction before he turned to frown up at the ceiling again. “What does he have to do with anything? Did you know one of the victims?”

Ed shook his head. “No, God, no. That’s fuckin’ awful. Can’t believe what those families are goin’ through. But the guy…the shooter…I knew him. I knew him. What was his name?”

“Kimblee,” Roy replied. “Solf Kimblee.”

“That’s not the name I knew him by,” Ed whispered. “Not the name he gave me.”

“He was a client,” Roy realized.

Ed pitched forward and for a second, Roy thought he was going to throw up, but he was just pressing his face into his hands, elbows on his knees, and his shoulders were shaking. “He wasn’t even one of the fucked up ones, y’know?” he whimpered and it sounded like he might start crying. Roy scooted closer, rested a hand on his shoulder. “I mean, he was…definitely kinda creepy. Had this…freaky oily voice, like a villain in a cartoon. And he…he called me names…but that’s not something new. Lotsa clients do that. I don’t really mind. He was…fuck, he was a fuckin’ gentleman, too. He’d fuckin’ _bow_ to me when I arrived and he’d thank me all sincerely and shit before I left. He was…weird, but he didn’t seem…I never thought he’d be…”

“A homicidal maniac?”

Ed curled into himself, forehead pressed to his knees and arms around his head and his shoulders shaking.

“Sometimes I see clients on the street,” Ed said, so quietly Roy could barely hear him. “Sometimes they see me, but they act like I’m just another stranger, and I act like I don’t know them either. Sometimes I see ‘em on TV or in the papers or something. Got lots of rich, famous clients, y’know? I see them sometimes, and I remember them. I think about them, and I remember what we did, how can I not? It’s not like you just _forget_ those kindsa things. It’s not usually a bad experience or anything, it’s just memories coming back. But I saw him on TV, saw him getting arrested, he was smiling like a psycho, and I remembered. Thought about all of it, everything, and it was like that freak’s hands were all over me again, like I could feel him everywhere and I just—”

“Edward, _breathe_ ,” Roy said firmly, giving Ed’s shoulder a small shake. The boy hadn’t taken a breath the whole time he was talking.

Ed obediently took a deep breath, let it out, took another one and held it for a while before releasing it too and then he slowly straightened up. He kept inhaling and exhaling slowly, deeply, and his shaking eased.

“Sorry,” he mumbled to Roy’s shoulder instead of his face.

“I thought I asked you to stop apologizing.”

Ed’s smile was dry. “Yeah, well, I’m not gonna charge you for this train wreck of an appointment, so I don’t gotta do what you say.”

“You rarely do what I say even when you are charging me.”

That got a small laugh out of the boy at least, and Roy smiled, smoothed a hand down from the side of his head to his shoulder and down his arm.

“Is this the first time you’ve talked to anyone about this?”

Frowning again, Ed nodded. “I don’t like talkin’ to Al about this stuff. He knows what I do, but I don’t like giving him details and stuff. It took him a while to be okay with it, and he still doesn’t totally like it. If he found out how bad this was fucking me up, he’ll try to convince me to quit, and I don’t wanna have that fight with him, not again.” He fell back against the cushions with a sigh. “And usually when it comes to work-stuff that I can’t talk to Al about, I can talk to Ling. He gets it, and he doesn’t mind the dirty details. He likes ‘em, actually. Says they help him do his job better or something, whatever the fuck that means.”

“Why haven’t you talked to him about it, then?”

Ed’s brows pulled together. “He’s been…busy. I don’t know what it is. But he’s been really distant lately and I can tell something’s wrong. Something has him concerned, and it’s something he’s not sure how to deal with. And I’ve never seen Ling face something he doesn’t know how to deal with, and I wanna help him, but he won’t talk to me. He keeps telling me to stay out of it, that it’s not my business, and he _never_ says that. Not to me, at least. He’s never not told me something. For a guy running an underground illegal escort service, he’s really talkative. And he’s my best friend, he usually tells me everything, and I don’t know what it could be that he doesn’t want me to know—”

“Edward.”

“Hm?”

“You’re doing the talking-without-breathing thing again and I’m concerned you’re going to pass out from lack of oxygen.”

“Oh.” He smiled a little bashfully. “Sorry. Shit. I apologized again.”

“It’s all right.” Roy took one of Ed’s hands, tugged at him until Ed was straight again, then gave one more tug so Ed would fall against him, face on his shoulder. “You have a lot weighing on you right now. I feel rather flattered that you came to me despite feeling like this.”

“I had an appointment with another client yesterday,” Ed muttered into his shoulder. “But he wasn’t too happy about the way I looked and I tried to make it up to him, but he said he just wasn’t feeling it and left. First time that’s ever happened to me. ‘S a bad feeling, Roy. Real bad. I felt awful…I was scared it was going to happen with you too.”

Roy swallowed, suddenly tense. Edward never talked about other clients. Not even in general, let alone specifically like this.

“I wouldn’t do that to you,” he assured, shifting so he could wrap both arms around Ed, hold him close. “If you were so afraid I’d reject you, why did you come?”

“Told you already. Wanted to see you.”

Something had changed. Something was different.

Roy pulled away slightly, put a hand on Ed’s jaw to make him look up, and then he was kissing Edward firmly on the mouth, holding him close and breathing in his warmth. Ed melted in his arms, fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt like he was clinging to him, and Roy pressed in harder, kissed him like he wanted to keep him. Ed kissed him back like Roy was the only thing keeping him tethered to reality.

“I can’t,” Ed muttered when they pulled away. “Not—not today…I really can’t…”

“I’m not asking you to,” Roy said, nudging his nose against Edward’s. “I’m just letting you know that I’m really glad you came.”

Edward’s smile seemed to light him up completely. The bags under his eyes seemed lighter, his skin looked healthier, and his hair was its usual summer sun yellow again.

They kissed again, Ed’s hands wrapped around the back of Roy’s neck, keeping caged in. As if Roy could escape even if he wanted to. Ed had him trapped like a paperclip to a magnet.

“Goes without saying, but you don’t have to pay for this,” Ed chuckled against Roy’s mouth before he pushed his tongue inside it.

Roy felt like maybe he should have, like he’d finally received what he’d been looking for all those other times, what he’d spent so much money on in the hopes of getting something that just _resembled_ it; here it was, finally. The warm, overwhelming feeling of being genuinely, sincerely, actually wanted by someone. Now he was convinced that Edward wasn’t faking it anymore.

***

“So you didn’t have to pay?” Maes grunted as he pulled up to his knees, then lowered himself back down to the floor. Roy shifted his feet to press down on Maes’ more. Maes did another sit-up as he asked, “He can do that?”

“Apparently payment is up to the employee’s judgment.”

“But doesn’t he have to pay his…pimp, or whatever?”

“I don’t think they call him that.”

“But that’s how these things work, Roy. Prostitutes do the job, take the money, give most of it to their boss. Isn’t he going to get in trouble if he doesn’t give this Ling guy anything?”

Roy would tell Maes to shut up while he was working out and use his oxygen more wisely, but telling Maes Hughes to shut up was always just a waste of his own breath. “I don’t think Ling is like your usual pimps. Edward called him his best friend, for God’s sake. What does that tell you?”

“Are you even counting how many I’m doing, because I lost track a while ago.”

“You’re at forty-three. Seven more.”

“All that tells me is that Ling is a good manipulator and probably efficiently brain-washed all his employees.”

“Edward doesn’t seem brain-washed.” Edward was viciously, shamelessly, loudly his own person.

“Hope you’re right. Is that fifty?”

“That’s fifty.”

“Switch.”

Roy pulled Maes up to his feet and then got down on his back on the mat, knees pulled up, and Maes pressed down on his feet with his own. Shifting his back into a comfortable position, he crossed his arms over his chest and curled himself upwards.

“Beisdes, he fell asleep on me afterwards,” Roy grunted as he worked. “He should’ve paid _me_ for my services as a pillow.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it must’ve been a real sacrifice for you, having a hot young blonde sleep on you.” Roy laughed. “Kinda funny, don’t you think? He says he can’t sleep for days and then he passes out on top of you?”

“I guess he feels safe around me,” Roy said with no small amount of smugness.

“Right,” Maes scoffed. “Or he just finds you boring as hell.”

On the next sit-up, Roy punched him in the knee.

***

 

Roy spread his thighs enough that Edward would fall from his lap onto the mattress instead, so he could still keep him close without having to risk losing the feeling in his legs. With his arms wrapped around his waist and Ed’s face tucked into his neck, Roy asked quietly, “Why do you do this?”

“Because you smell really good after sex,” was Edward’s reply.

What?

“D’you think it’s weird?” Ed asked, pressing his face closer into Roy’s neck, nosing behind his ear. “You’re just gonna have to deal with it, ‘cause I ain’t stopping.”

Edward was _smelling_ him? This whole time, Roy just thought he was breathing deeply to get his heart rate back to normal, but really, the little weirdo was inhaling him.

“No, no,” Roy laughed. “that’s fine, I don’t mind it at all.” It was oddly sweet, actually, now that he knew about it. “That’s not what I was asking about, though.”

“Oh.” Edward pulled away then, leaving his arms linked behind Roy’s neck and cocked his head at him. “What’re you asking about, then? Why do I do what?”

Faced with Ed’s too-sharp eyes was making Roy rethink his inquiry. It really wasn’t any of his business. Maybe Ed would get offended.

Roy swallowed, told himself not to be a coward, and said, “ _This_. This whole thing. How did you start in this business?”

Ed’s questioning frown eased into smooth comprehension and then transitioned into another frown with an added little glare. He wasn’t angry—Roy had seen him angry and it was loud and explosive and teeth-gnashing—just irked. He winced apologetically and added, “How many times have you gotten that question?”

With a little sigh, Ed answered, “Enough times that it went from being a normal thing to a completely irritating occurrence, and then all the way back around to normal. Usually when clients ask, it’s because they’re thinking that I need ‘saving’ or something from the big bad sex trafficking monster. But you don’t think I need saving, do ya?”

Roy snorted. “Oh, please. You are the last person I would ever say needed _saving_ by anybody.” _If anything, you’re the one that’s saving me_ , he wanted to say, but didn’t. That wouldn’t be appropriate. “I’m genuinely just curious about your story.”

“My story? Hmm.” Ed pursed his lips thoughtfully and released his arms from around Roy’s neck, leaning back and bracing his weight off them on the mattress. “Let’s see… Once upon a time, I was recruited by Ling himself when he took over after his dad got sick. You ever met Ling?”

Roy shook his head. “Never had the pleasure.”

“He’s a year younger than me, if you’ll believe it. His dad already had a good set of employees, all girls. And, from what I hear, he was a total douche to them. A real stereotypical pimp, beating them up and taking most of their earnings, letting them keep very little. Ling came in and totally dismantled the company, took it apart and re-built it. Told any of the girls that wanted to leave that they could, and he lost almost two thirds of them. So he started looking for new recruits. Didn’t stop at just young girls, though. He went for anything and everything.”

“Something for every taste.”

Ed grinned. “Young or old, guy or girl or what-have-you, all colors and all body types. His dying father apparently told him that he would destroy the company when he let the girls go, that it would ruin him and he’d never make a dollar.”

“I’m assuming that wasn’t the case.”

“Income fuckin’ _tripled_ in just the first year alone.” His voice was filled with pure joy. “Ling’s old man died and didn’t get to see it take off, but Ling didn’t really care. They’d never gotten along. I was one of the first new recruits. Just turned eighteen and I was headed to college, but had no way to pay.” Roy tried very hard not to think about the fact that a seventeen year old was running a prostitution service. “I knew Ling from school and when he took over for his dad and heard about my money troubles, he offered me a job. I wasn’t too thrilled, of course. I mean, fuck, I was a virgin.”

Roy’s eyebrows shot into his hair.

“Ling took care of that _personally_ when I agreed to the job. Said it wouldn’t be right to have a first time be a client; it’d be better if it was a friend, at least.” Ed chuckled. “Ling’s a fuckin’ lunatic, but he’s a good guy. He’s my best friend, y’know? The first couple of months were hellish. Ling let most of the original employees go, but he had to deal with the long-time clients if he wanted to keep the business working, and those clients were—well…they were used to a certain kind of submission from the workers. The way they treated us…it was just fuckin’ _vile._ But then new clients started coming in, Ling set up new policies, and when he realized the revenue he was getting was more than his dad ever got, he hired bodyguards for us.”

“You have a bodyguard?”

“Had. At first, bodyguards were mandatory for all of us. Then this one time, this client got a little too pushy with me, and my guy—they have to wait outside, of course, they don’t go _in_ with us—barged into the room when he heard the commotion and found the guy hog-tied with the telephone cord and me pressin’ his face into the carpet with my boot.” Ed snickered. “After that, Ling told us that bodyguards were optional. Most of us kept them, because they made us feel a lot safer, but I didn’t need one. Which was great, because with a bodyguard the earnings of each job get split 40-40-20, but I get to keep it 50-50.”

Roy thought about that. Thought about himself hog-tied on the hotel room floor because he’d done something Edward didn’t like. Thought about how every time he met with Edward he subconsciously looked for bruises or aversion to physical contact. Thought about how light he felt upon realizing that he wouldn’t have to worry about that anymore.

“So…you do it for the money? To pay for college?” Roy wanted to ask about that. Wanted to know what he’d studied, if he was still studying, if he’d tried to do anything with his degree, what he really wanted to do with his life. _I may be a prostitute, but I’m actually a scientist at heart_ , Roy remembered. What kind of science did Ed like? Biology? Physics? Did he want to do something with medicine? There was a whole world of Edward that Roy didn’t know, that Roy was _dying_ to know, and maybe one of these days Roy would pay Edward just to tell him his entire life story.

“At first, yeah.” Ed let his weight fall off his hands, lay on the mattress between Roy’s legs, stared up at the ceiling. “Then I got to my first semester of my second year of college, realized it wasn’t for me, and dropped out. But my little brother started that year, and even though he had a scholarship because he’s so fucking brilliant, we were living by ourselves and I didn’t want him working when he should be studying, so I started taking on more clients to pay for his school books and shit, plus the rent, plus food and clothes and shit. He was always complaining that he wanted to help me out and get a job, but I told him to fuck off. When I asked Ling for a little extra help so Al wouldn’t have to do anything, he put me on his list of ‘exclusives’, which means I’m just a little more expensive than the others, and I only work with regular clients.”

Roy frowned. “But I’m not a regular.” He paused. “At least…I wasn’t when we started out.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t given this job, remember? I was filling in for a friend.”

Roy had never believed in fate. But Edward didn’t take on new clients and if Roy hadn’t asked for a man of a specific age, he would’ve gotten any other escort instead of the one man who had a previous engagement and whom Edward owed a favor to. Roy was never meant to meet Edward, and yet here they were, laying naked in bed together, and maybe he was reconsidering his thoughts on fate.

“It was why I was kind of a shit to you when we first met. It’d been a while since I was with a client that wasn’t used to my attitude.”

“Now that I think back on it,” Roy smirked, “I don’t think I would like you as much as I do now if you hadn’t been so insufferable that first time.”

Ed sat up again, smiled at him, and pulled his legs out from around Roy’s hips, turning around in the same spot and rested his back on Roy’s chest, nuzzling his head under Roy’s jaw. “Still haven’t told you why I’m still working here, though. Story’s not over yet.”

Roy could feel the vibrations of Ed’s voice through his own sternum, wrapped his arms around Ed and pressed his cheek to the top of Ed’s head, humming in contentment. “Please, continue. I find you so damn fascinating.” Edward actually wiggled happily in his arms, put his own hands above Roy’s resting on his abdomen.

“So…Al’s in college, I’m not, I’m working about eight clients a week—which is _exhausting_. This was before Ling put me on the exclusives list, by the way. I take on a day job and cut down on the amount of clients a week by half. I become a college-level tutor for chemistry and physics when I’m not being an escort.”

“But didn’t you drop out of college in your second year?”

“Yeah, but I work for a tutoring agency that doesn’t require a college degree. You just take a few tests in the subjects you wanna teach and they set you up with college and high school students that need help studying. I told you Al was brilliant, but I guess I had a hand in that. He and I mostly taught each other growing up and we became a pair of scientific geniuses before we hit puberty, so acing those dumb tests was a walk in the park for me.”

He said it like it was nothing. _Hi, I’m Edward, I’m blonde, right-handed, and a scientific prodigy._ Maybe ‘fascinating’ was an understatement for what Roy thought about him.

“The two jobs together were enough that Al and I were getting by pretty well, but when Ling made me an exclusive, I could afford nicer things, nicer clothes, better food, Wi-Fi in the apartment so we didn’t have to keep mooching off the neighbors—Al cracked their password and felt bad about it for _months._ Life’s been pretty sweet since then. And Al started working—summers only—so money has never been a problem for us. We have enough money saved up, and my tutoring gig pays well enough that I’ve actually considered quitting the service gig a few times.”

“But you haven’t yet,” Roy murmured. He turned his face to press a kiss to Ed’s scalp, quietly inhaled the smell of his hair.

“Nope. It’s not for the money anymore, it hasn’t been for the money for a while.” A soft finger trailed over Roy’s forearm, traced a path up to his elbow and back down to his wrist. Gentle fingers turned his palm over and drew circles onto it. “You probably won’t believe me, but I actually _like_ this job. It makes me feel good.”

“Really?” Roy asked. “I hadn’t gotten that impression—always calling yourself a ‘hooker’ or a ‘prostitute’.”

“So?” Ed grit out, tensing a bit in Roy’s arms. “Just because I’m more expensive, that don’t make me any better than the girls sellin’ themselves on a street corner, and I’m _fine_ with that. The only difference between them and me is that I’m a lot safer than them when I’m working.” He paused, took a deep, calming breath, and said in a more subdued tone, “There’s no shame in what I do. I used to be embarrassed by it, used to think it was degrading, but it’s not. It’s my fuckin’ body and my fuckin’ life. Some people choose to make their living sittin’ in a cubicle, some do it dancing on a pole, and I like to make it getting fucked, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Bein’ a whore’s not a bad thing.”

Roy was quiet for a moment, letting Ed seethe in his arms. He wondered how long Ed had been sitting on that particular rant. He kissed him behind the ear, said, “It is the oldest profession in the world. There isn’t any shame in it. I suppose the true degenerates are those who hire them.”

Ed relaxed in his grip then, made a little happy humming noise. “Not all of them. Some of ‘em are nice and stuff. Some of them are just lonely, some of them are just lookin’ for something. It’s the sick one’s that are the only bad guys in this business—the ones like Ling’s dad, and the ones that treat us like merchandise instead of people, the ones that beat us up and abuse us and think that just because they’re paying for _one thing_ that they can take whatever else they want.”

“You always say ‘us’,” Roy noted quietly and Ed made a questioning “Hm?”

“When you talk about the business, you use a collective ‘us’. Even when you yourself are not included, you use ‘us’. When you mentioned how most of your coworkers felt safer with bodyguards, you said ‘they made _us_ feel safe’, but you yourself weren’t included in that statement. It’s curious.”

“Huh. Never noticed that before.” Ed turned his face to grin at him. “Can’t believe you caught that.”

It’s like Roy had become a machine whose sole purpose was to observe, listen, catalogue and analyze everything Edward did and said. All his senses were attuned to the boy, everything revolved around him, and Roy was so fucked.

“The business is like a family, really,” Ed continued. “You make real friendships with the people you work with. You don’t get along with _everybody,_ obviously, but we’re all still really protective of each other. We all stick together, don’t let anyone fuck with anyone who don’t want it. Ling has people to protect us and he’s got connections to take care of those who mistreat us, but _we’re_ really the ones that take care of each other. And it’s pretty convenient too, since most of the people that come into this business are usually artists that need money till they get their big break, and when they do, they’re out, but they don’t forget us still working. I’ve been invited to art galleries, movie premieres, concerts, whole shitload of things. It’s pretty great.

“I was never good at making friends as a kid. It was always my brother and me, and this one friend of ours that’s kind of like a sister. But I never really got on with kids my own age, so suddenly I’m in this business where these people don’t even know me and they care about me, they make sure I’m comfortable, that I’m safe…and then there’s the clients. There’s some shitty ones. Some really shitty ones, Roy, you got no idea…Ling’s got this policy—client fucks up once, they get a warning, fucks up twice and…well...I’m not really sure what happens to them; Ling’s never said.”

Roy shuddered.

“But even for every shitty one, there’s like three good ones.” Ed was smiling. “We get a lot of lonely rich people and people who can’t find someone who’s comfortable with their particular kinks, so they treat us really nice, because they need us, they want us. Maybe I’m just spoiled because Ling runs such a sweet service and only chooses the best clients for us, but I don’t know…my dad walked out on my brother and me when we were really little, so maybe I just have a thing about needing to feel wanted.”

_I’ll make you feel as wanted as you need for as long as you need if you’ll let me,_ Roy stubbornly did not think. _If you’ll let me, I’ll want you until I die._

“How fucking cliché is that, though?” Edward laughed. “”Hey, Ed, why do you think you became a whore?’ ‘Well, my daddy didn’t hug me enough as a kid.’ God, I’m like a walking stereotype.”

“Edward, I’m a married politician in a hotel room with a male prostitute, I don’t think you’re the only one to talk about stereotypes.”

Ed’s laugh was bright and happy, vibrating through Roy’s chest and filling Roy’s lungs.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. We’re just a sad little pair of walking stereotypes.” He turned his head again to look at Roy, one hand came up to rest against the back of his neck and then he was pulling Roy down into a kiss. In their current positions, it was just a simple matter of Roy rolling Ed over to lie on his stomach and he didn’t even need to break the kiss as he rolled over with him, pressed Ed down onto the mattress with his own body, and lost himself in his warmth.

***

The car smelled of cheese and beer and grease. Roy had been, as always, sworn by sacred vow to not tell Gracia about her husband’s terrible eating habits before he was allowed in the passenger’s seat.

“When did you realize you were in love with Gracia?” Roy asked, tearing a chunk off a slice of bacon.

“Mmmm.” Maes slurped his soda—he was driving, so no beer. “Let’s see…after our third date, I think. I took her to that lake—you know the one, right? It was freezing cold but she stripped down to her underwear and jumped in, then dragged me along with her. Wanted to propose to her right there.”

“You’d been dating for, what, two weeks at that point?”

“Just about, yeah. Why do you ask?”

“Because I’ve been seeing Edward for a little less than three months now and I’ve just realized I’m in love with him.”

Maes blinked at him, french fry dangling from his lip. “Excuse me?” The fry fell to his lap.

“You probably think I’m an idiot, but it’s true. I’m completely in love with him.” He’d never felt like this. Not even when he and Maes had been together. He’d never felt so full of helium, so full of weightless sunlight. It was Edward, the thought of him, the memory of everything he was—his smile, his laugh, the way he said Roy’s name, the way he pressed against him, the way he lightheartedly made fun of Roy, the way he writhed when Roy was inside him. The way he simply was, brilliantly and unapologetically, and Roy couldn’t get enough.

He was sitting in a dank car in the dark of the night, parked in some empty lot, with the smell of greasy food choking him, and the world had never been more beautiful.

“And this isn’t just…” Maes looked around awkwardly, trying to find the words, trying to find a way to rationalize this away that he would never find. “…him being really good in bed?”

Roy laughed. Everything was bright, everything was funny. “No, Maes. It’s not just that. Although, it doesn’t hurt.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

And suddenly things weren’t so funny anymore. “No…” Roy frowned down at his hands. “No, I don’t think so. I can’t. He’ll probably want to stop making appointments with me, and I can’t risk that. I can’t risk not seeing him anymore.”

Maes chewed on his lip. It was something he did when he didn’t want to say something. But Maes could never keep his thoughts quiet for long. “I hate to…ruin your good mood…but you know he probably doesn’t feel the same way.”

Roy smiled sadly. “I know that, and it…hurts, definitely. But at least now I know I’m capable of falling in love.”

Maes actually looked a little offended at that, but Roy couldn’t find it in him to feel bad about it.

“You realize you’re basically screwed, right?” Maes asked, a sympathetic lilt to his voice.

“Oh, yeah. Absolutely screwed.” Roy couldn’t find it in him to feel bad about that either.

***

Edward was laughing. He was laying naked in the bed next to Roy, his hair splayed out over the pillows, the sheets pulled up to his ribs, one arm casually crooked over his head, the other resting on top of the sheets, close to Roy’s side, and Roy was sitting next to him, leaning against the headboard, watching him laugh. He was telling Roy a story about his childhood. A story about his brother and his friend running by a pond and then his brother slipped and fell into it and a fish swam into his shirt and Ed was laughing so hard that tears were forming in the corners of his eyes and Roy couldn’t imagine _not_ saying it. Damn all the consequences, he couldn’t not say it. If Edward never wanted to see him again, he could live with it. It would hurt like hell, but he would have said it and meant it for once.

“I’m in love with you,” he murmured and Ed was laughing too hard to hear him, but he noticed that Roy had spoken so he stopped, trailing off into chuckles and asked, “Sorry, what? Didn’t hear you.”

Smiling warmly, Roy reached out and gently brushed Ed’s bangs away from his face with a finger and repeated, surely and with all the affection he could put into his voice, “I’m in love with you.”

Ed’s smile slid off like water and it hurt just as much as Roy knew it would, but he needed to say it. “I honestly don’t know how you didn’t realize it,” he continued, watching Ed’s face and all the minute microexpressions in it. Ed’s face was always so open, so expressive, but there was so much happening at that moment that Roy had no idea how to begin reading it. “I feel like it’s bursting from me every time I’m around you. You don’t have to say anything, and I would understand if continuing our appointments would make you uncomfortable, but I just really wanted you to know that. I love you, Edward.”

Suddenly, he felt extremely foolish. How many other pathetic, bored old men had felt they were something special when Edward looked at them with those fiery eyes of his? How many of them had gotten carried away by the way Edward opened up so willingly for them? How many of them had forgotten that they were just _paying_ Edward for everything he gave them? How many of them had let themselves get lost in the illusion of passion and felt they had some kind of ownership over Edward? Like they were something special. Like they weren’t just another one of Edward’s dozen customers.

How many of them had said the same three words to Edward expecting him to react with the same affection? With anything less than disdain?

Roy expected Edward to get out of the bed with a derisive snort, pull on his clothes while muttering about “pathetic old guys”, and storm out and the next time Roy called the agency he would get a curtly polite “we’re sorry, Edward is no longer available, would you like someone else”? Just the thought of being offered another escort, as if Edward was replaceable, exchangeable, like the things he made Roy feel was a guarantee with all their employees—it made Roy sick.

But Edward was still there. He wasn’t moving, wasn’t getting out of bed. Just lay there, staring.

“Ed?” Roy asked warily.

“Are you fucking with me?” Ed asked quietly and when was Ed quiet about _anything_?

“What?”

“Are you fucking with me?” Louder now, even a little angry, head coming up from the pillow and leaning up on his elbow to stare openly at Roy. “Don’t just say those things, Roy. Don’t fucking do it. I get it if you’re bored with your wife, I get it if you’re looking for fun, I can get that, but you shouldn’t fucking say that if you don’t mean it.”

Roy frowned. “What on earth would make you think I don’t mean it?”

Ed sat up completely and angled himself to face Roy. “So…you’re not fucking me right now?”

“Not right _now_ , no. Maybe in a few minutes.”

He deserved the smack on the shoulder and took it with a grin.

“You mean it, then?” Ed looked small and… _scared_? His eyebrows were drawn together and there was a little downturn to his lips, leaning away from Roy as if waiting to be hit. Roy realized that if he admitted to it being just a joke, Edward really would never want to see him again.

Roy leaned forward, reached out to cup Ed’s face in his palm and stroked his cheek softly. “Ed…” He pressed his lips to the man’s forehead. “At the risk of sounding like a very cheesy song, I didn’t know I could fall in love until I met you.”

In a flash, Roy was up against the headboard again and he had a lapful of naked Ed this time, Ed’s lips glued to his, Ed’s hands in his hair and everything felt like it had fallen into place.

An hour later, Ed was still smiling as he put on his coat and pulled his ponytail out from the back. When he turned to Roy, Roy was grinning at him, holding out the usual envelope with his cash. Ed eyed it like it was a snake that could strike at any time and took it in hesitant fingers.

With a purse of his lips and a determined frown, Ed opened the envelope and took out the bills to count them. He’d never counted the money in front of Roy before.

“As one of our most frequent customers,” Ed was saying as he counted, “you get a loyal customer discount from now on.”

“Discount?” Ed shoved some of the bills into his hand and placed the others in the envelope again before shoving the envelope into his inside coat pocket. Roy quickly added up the amount he’d been handed back and said in a shocked tone, “Ed…this is half of what I usually pay. That’s a _fifty_ percent discount.”

Ed made a face like he was impressed. “Look at that! A politician with enough brains to do math. A truly rare specimen.”

Roy stared at Ed’s smug face for a little longer. The feather-light bills in his hand felt like they weighed a ton from how much they meant. Ed had mentioned his agreement with Ling was 50-50, and if Roy was guessing correctly, Ed was only taking enough for Ling’s cut, which meant that he wasn’t making any profit from this appointment. And if the discount was ‘from now on’ as he’d mentioned, then Ed wasn’t planning on making any profit from him anymore. At all.

Ed hadn’t said ‘I love you’ in return earlier and Roy hadn’t needed him to, but this basically amounted to the same.

Shoving the bills into his pocket, Roy wrapped his other hand around the back of Edward’s neck and pulled him in, crushing their mouths together. Ed clung onto his shirt as he kissed back just as enthusiastically.

When Ed opened the door a few minutes later, he hesitated, turned around and asked, “Could you say it again?”

Roy’s eyebrow quirked in surprise, but he smiled. “I love you.”

Ed’s cheeks swirled pink this time and he shuffled his feet a little awkwardly, but he was grinning. “Right. Well. Uh. I’ll—I’ll see you next week then. Bye.” He fled through the door, almost banging it shut behind him and Roy laughed lightly to himself.

***

Roy was still walking on air when he stepped through the door of his house some time later. He stepped into the kitchen and found Julia, still in her work clothes, sipping from a glass of water. Her hair was down and her heels were in her hands, so she’d just gotten in a little before him. When she saw him, she put the glass down and smiled at him.

“Hello, darling,” she said warmly, stepping up to him and getting on the tips of her toes to kiss his cheek.

“Hello, dear,” he replied, smiling down at her.

“I’m going to go change and then I’ll get started on dinner, all right?”

“I’ll help.”

Julia quirked a suspicious eyebrow at him, but didn’t say anything as she stepped around him to go upstairs. Now alone, Roy undid the cuffs of his shirt, pushed the sleeves up, and unbuttoned it. He took Julia’s forgotten glass of water and drank what was left before placing the glass in the sink.

He noticed an advertisement on the back of a magazine left on the counter—a smiling woman in a large floppy hat reclined in a chair on a beautiful beach, the sun large and bright in the clear blue sky. He thought about how Edward would look in the sun. Roy had noticed faint freckles on his face and shoulders—maybe the sunlight would draw them out more. His skin looked like it would burn easily, though, but his hair would probably shine beautifully in the light.

He didn’t realize he was humming tunelessly until Julia came back down the stairs, now dressed in yoga pants and a cotton shirt, fixing him with an odd expression and he stopped.

“I’ve never seen you so happy,” she said, and it sounded almost accusatory. “Not just today, either. You’ve been like this for a while.”

Roy’s cheerful mood popped like a bubble. Julia was no fool. He’d been disrespecting his wife enough for the past few weeks, he wasn’t going to undermine her intelligence by thinking that she had no idea what was happening. Of course she knew; she just didn’t talk about it, and he never brought it up.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and he truly was. He was sorry he couldn’t love her like he loved Edward, he was sorry he couldn’t stick to the vows he’d made.

Julia closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, mouth fixed in a tight line. She let out her breath slowly and said, “Could you chop up an onion for me?” then moved to the fridge and started pulling out ingredients to begin cooking dinner.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took me forever but i had a hard time making it as least suckish as possible.
> 
> also, moani recently reminded me that there is already a canon Julia, from the movie Sacred Star of Milos. i know this is already labeled as roy/original female character but just to avoid any confusion i'll clarify my julia is not that one. i named her after julia stiles because during the formation of this fic, i was thinking that i should rewatch 10 things i hate about you and it just kind of stuck. heh.
> 
> also also, this is the second to last part, and then there's going to be a sequel (yay!). if you want to hear me complain and whine and be an all-around baby about writing, you can follow me on my [writing blog](http://calawrites.tumblr.com). you can also ask me questions, leave comments, and leave me writing prompts if you want. :D i also sometimes post untitled ficlets there that i don't post here on ao3, so there's that.
> 
> i'll shut up now. enjoy. :3

Roy opened the hotel room door and locked it behind him, then slipped the now-familiar key into his coat pocket along with his wedding ring, and hung the coat up on the hanger—it had become routine.

What wasn’t routine was turning towards the room and seeing someone already there.

Edward was laying on the couch with his head on a cushion, his long ponytail thrown over the arm. His knee was pulled up onto the couch with the ankle of his other leg crossed over it and he was holding a book directly above his face. Roy quirked an eyebrow. Wasn’t that bad for his eyesight?

“Hello, Edward,” he said. “I’m surprised to see you here so earl—” He paused, frowning. Edward hadn’t even moved. “Edward?”

Ed flipped a page of his book, continued reading. Roy cleared his throat loudly. Not a twitch.

“What the hell is he reading?” Roy muttered to himself and walked around to the couch to read the title. Edward didn’t even react to Roy coming into his field of vision. _Advanced Quantum Mechanics._

“That doesn’t sound particularly engrossing,” Roy commented, hoping to get some kind of reaction out of Ed. Nothing. With a shrug, he moved to the bar and served himself a glass of whiskey.

Roy sat himself down on the armchair and watched Ed read while he sipped at his drink. He craned his neck, looking at Ed’s ears to see if he was listening to music, but he didn’t see any earbuds. And besides, he would have reacted when he saw Roy standing behind the couch. He really was just lost into the book.

When Roy had finished his drink and Ed still hadn’t budged an inch, Roy decided that maybe it was time to wake him up from his reading-coma. While Ed was enthralling to watch, he was getting a little bored. And if Ed continued reading at that angle, he was going to hurt his eyes. He considered taking the book from Ed’s hands but then thought of something else.

“Hey, pipsqueak,” he said loudly and the reaction was immediate.

“ _Who the hell are you calling a bean-sprout pipsqueak midget_?” Ed shot up, book flying onto the couch as Ed seethed down at Roy, who just smiled passively up at him.

“Good to see you’re still with me, at least.”

Suddenly, all the anger drained out of Edward and he looked nervous. “Shit…how long have you been there?”

“About ten mintues.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Roy quirked an eyebrow. “I did. Multiple times. You were utterly lost to the world.”

Ed scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and gave a shaky chuckle. “Sorry…I tend to…get sucked into books sometimes. Al says it’s like when someone sleepwalks, that you shouldn’t wake them up, just let them wake up on their own and just leaves me to it. Sometimes I’m gone for hours.”

“I hope I didn’t cause any brain damage from waking you up, then.” Roy stood up, placed the glass on the table and reached over to pick up the discarded book, flipping through the pages. “This looks…complicated.” Understatement. He was getting a headache just skimming it.

“It’s pretty good. It’s mostly a history of quantum physics, so I know most of it already. Touches a lot on classical mechanics and electrodynamics, which I already know, but it also talks about relativistic quantum mechanics, which is great since I’m mostly familiar with non-relativistic quantum mechanics. And it explains the quantum field theory pretty well—”

“Edward.” Roy felt very dizzy. “Those are very big words, and I am just a simple-minded politician.”

“Oh.” Ed looked a little put-out as he took the book back and marked his place, so Roy tried to backtrack.

“Do you like chemistry?” he asked and Ed perked up like a dog who had smelled bacon. “Talk to me about chemistry, then you’ll be making some sense.”

Ed’s face split into a beaming grin. “What kind of chemistry you into, Mustang?”

Roy’s strength was physical chemistry, but Edward had a love for analytical chemistry, and even so, they spent a good forty-five minutes sitting on the couch, talking back and forth about elements and reactions and transfer of energy. They discussed concepts that Roy hadn’t talked or thought about in _years_ , so every now and then Ed had to take a detour and re-explain it, but for the most part the conversation flowed smoothly and Ed actually laughed in some parts. His eyes were sparkling as he talked about science, his hand gestures grew more and more motivated, and he spoke faster and faster as he got more and more excited about it and Roy was enraptured by the passion he exuded.

At one point, Ed stopped halfway through his litany of the wonders of subatomic particles to look shyly at Roy, who was watching him with a small smile on his face.

“We’ve wasted like an hour of your time talking about chemistry,” he said, as if just realizing it. Apparently, just reading about science wasn’t the only thing that made Ed lose track of time. “Fuck, I’m so sorry…”

“Have I made a single complaint?” Roy asked, cocking his head.

“Well…no…but you didn’t come here for the college flashbacks, did you?”

“I can honestly say that I enjoyed college, so I don’t mind the flashbacks. Besides.” He flicked the end of one of Ed’s bangs playfully. “I also enjoy simply talking to you. Just as much as I enjoy our other activities.”

“That’s all fine and dandy, but you’re not paying to just talk to me. Want you to get your money’s worth.” Ed was still acting like he was making any money out of having sex with Roy, and Roy didn’t feel the need to tell him to drop the act. He crawled onto Roy’s lap, knees on either side of his hips, and pushed his hands into Roy’s hair. “And I prefer our ‘other activities’ to just talking, unlike you.”

Roy chuckled. “Ah, the wonders of youth.”

Ed snorted, ducking down to kiss a line down Roy’s neck. “Don’t talk like you’re some old geezer. You’re still plenty young from where I’m sitting.” As if to emphasize his point, he rolled his hips against Roy’s and the motion was so sinful that Roy’s dick twitched in his pants.

Roy’s hands rested on Ed’s hips, thumbing circles into the sliver of skin above his waistband. Ed’s head tipped to the side just a bit, forehead brushing Roy’s, noses touching, lips an inch away, and he started rocking his hips ever so slowly, keeping their gazes locked. His hands trailed down Roy’s shoulders and over his chest, his hips moving faster in some kind of lazy lap dance that was making Roy feel lightheaded with how fast it was arousing him.

It was a tease, really—both fully clothed, movements that barely caused any friction, and lips floating just out of reach—and it still made Roy go cross-eyed from how turned on he was and Ed’s eyes spark with amusement at his reaction. Ed pulled away, leaned his head back, offering his neck, and Roy took it gladly, licking and nipping in that way he knew Ed loved, in that way that had Ed moaning in five seconds.

Roy turned them over, let Ed fall down onto the couch, and crawled over him, still between the other man’s legs. Ed’s arms clung to his shoulders, smiling up at him as Roy loomed over him and licked his lips, thinking of all the things he could do to Edward—and all the things he _couldn’t_ do because of company policies, but still really, really wanted to.

“Take off your shirt,” Roy murmured and Ed cocked his head, grinning devilishly. He always seemed to enjoy it when Roy gave him orders in bed, even though Roy avoided it most of the time; it made him think too much about what things Ed did because he genuinely wanted to and the things he did because Roy was still a client, and that line of thought never went anywhere good. But Ed happily brought his hands down from Roy’s shoulders to his own shirt, unbuttoning it while keeping eye contact with Roy.

Once the buttons were done, Ed arched up to tug it off his shoulders and pull it off, bringing his chest almost up to Roy’s and his lips just barely touching Roy’s. Tease. A terrible, terrible tease.

“Now mine,” Roy said and Ed brought his fingers up to Roy’s shirt, pulled out button after button without looking away from Roy’s eyes, fingers trailing down his chest to find the next button. Roy leaned away to let Ed tug it off and throw it aside as well, and then he was leaning down to press himself along Ed’s body, claim his lips, kiss him hard.

Roy’s fingers skirted up Ed’s sides, Ed’s knees pulled up on each side of Roy’s hips, and one hand brazenly groped at his ass.

Ed’s neck was a smooth line to follow, his Adam’s apple the perfect shape for Roy’s tongue to wrap around, his collarbone a delightful detour and his chest was firm and broad, perfect for the shower of kisses Roy rained down on it. His nipples were already perked up, the perfect size for Roy to suck at and lick, nibble on with just the slightest pressure of teeth, making Ed gasp and groan. Ed’s abs were a national treasure and Roy’s first act when he became president would be to make a holiday in honor of Edward’s abdominal muscles.

It would be just one day out of the whole month he would announce as National Celebrate Edward Month.

Roy tasted Ed’s abs, kissed where he knew Ed was ticklish, relished the little jumps of his muscles in response, nosed at the lines of it, scratched his teeth down to the waistband of Ed’s pants—jeans today, how charming. Roy dug his fingers into Ed’s ass through them.

Ed looked so comfortable from where he was reclining against the sofa’s arm, watching Roy unzip his pants, pull them off, and let out a thick groan when he found no underwear underneath. Ed smirked smugly at that, but it flickered out as soon as Roy got his mouth on his dick.

Roy loved sucking Ed off; Ed was so responsive. Then again, Ed was responsive to _everything_ Roy did to him, but there was just something about the way his thighs tightened around Roy’s head and his fingers clenched in thin air and his spine arched that Roy particularly loved.

Stretching just enough to reach the armchair without dislodging Roy, Ed gripped the strap of his backpack and pulled it over, unzipping it and digging inside for the lube. He shoved it into Roy’s hand and leaned back against the arm again.

“Come on, let’s get this show on the road,” he grinned, wiggling his hips enticingly and Roy pulled away laughing.

“If you insist.” He uncapped the bottle and Ed hooked one leg over the back of the couch and stretched the other one as far as it could go, opening himself as much as possible and Roy felt like crying because he was so _flexible_ and if there was a God, He had no mercy.

Roy went to pour the lube on his fingers and—paused.

“Something wrong?” Ed quirked an eyebrow.

Roy cocked a curious head at him. “Why don’t we try something different tonight?”

Ed frowned. Roy climbed off the couch—still in his pants and shoes—and took a naked Ed’s hand, pulling him to his feet as well and leading him to the bed. Ed stretched out like a happy cat on the mattress and Roy smiled fondly down at him. He handed the lube over to Ed and kicked off his shoes, pulled off his socks, and unbuckled his belt and pulled off his pants and underwear.

Once he was naked and in bed with Ed, Ed held out the lube to him, but Roy smirked and pushed his hand back.

“What?” Ed pursed his lips. “You wanna watch? ‘Cause I love putting on a show.”

Roy chuckled. “That would be one hell of a show,” he said, the sudden image of Ed on his back, working slick fingers inside himself while he tugged at his own cock, moaning Roy’s name—Roy stopped. He got sidetracked. He could watch that some other time. “But that’s not what I had in mind.”

“Well, then, what do you—?” Ed froze. Ed’s eyes widened into saucers. “Wait. You don’t mean…you want me to…?”

Roy crawled forward, loomed his face over Ed’s, brushed their lips together and whispered into his mouth, “Fuck me, Ed.”

In the next minute, Roy was on his back and Ed was between his legs and looking like a little kid at Christmas. Which was a… _strange_ comparison to make when he was naked, with a hard on, lubing up his fingers, getting ready to fuck a man much older than him.

“You seem excited,” Roy noted with a chuckle.

“Yeah,” Ed chirped happily. “It’s just been such a long time since I did this with a guy, y’know.” He rubbed his fingers to warm up the lube. “Wow. Like. Such a long time. It’s not something a lot of men ask for, y’know? Wow. This is so fucking great.”

Roy was suddenly concerned as Ed lowered his hand and he pulled away a bit. “Don’t…er…don’t get too hasty in your excitement, please? It might have been a long time since you last did this, but it’s been a longer time since I’ve had it done to me, so…”

“Oh, don’t worry.” The evil glint in his eye rendered that comparison with a small child completely null. “I’m going to draw this out. Make it last for a _long_ time.”

Roy was suddenly concerned for a completely different reason. There was only so much teasing a man could take, and he had learned the hard way that Ed could be an _insufferable_ tease when he wanted to be. Ed’s stamina was ridiculously high due to practice, which was in itself a good thing, but coupled with his slight sadistic tendencies and cruel streak—it made for a very maddening combination, to say the least.

Ed started out slow, just running his finger around the entrance while he kissed Roy, kissed him deep and long, relaxing him enough to push a little, push inside.

Getting penetrated, being stretched and opened up, Roy found, was like riding a bicycle. You never forget it and never forget the pain of falling off of one and scraping your knee bloody. The burn was an old friend he’d rather have forgotten and couldn’t ignore.

Ed slowed down, noting Roy’s twisted expression of pain, then he leaned down, kissed his neck as he continued working his finger inside, kissed along his collarbone and down his chest, over his abdomen and as he crooked the finger, making Roy hiss, he took the head of Roy’s dick into his mouth. Roy made a strangled noise and bit down on the heel of his hand.

“Nuh uh,” Ed said, pulling his mouth away. “You’re always goin’ on about wanting to hear me, now I wanna hear _you._ Take it out.”

With a frustrated growl, Roy took his hand out of his mouth and instead used it to push Edward’s head down again. Ed had just enough time to laugh before his mouth was full again.

With Ed sucking him off at the same time as he stretched him out, it was easy for the burn to be muffled by the pleasure and in barely any time at all, Ed was working a second finger in and Roy was gasping against the pillows.

Roy tugged at Ed’s hair a bit, making him pull off and, scissoring his fingers in a way that had Roy’s hips rising off the bed, crawled up to press his mouth to Roy’s. Roy wrapped his arms around Ed’s shoulders and dug his nails into the meat of Ed’s arms as Ed worked in another finger.

 “Oh, _oh,_ ” Roy muttered, eyes cinched shut and hips hitching against Ed’s three fingers as they curled and worked him. The burn had returned momentarily with the new finger, but it faded away again, leaving only that beautiful sensation of being filled, stroked and eased and comforted. Ed’s fingers were magical, just like every other part of him.

“Good?” Ed asked, smiling warmly down at him. The mischief had faded from his eyes the second Roy had groaned in pain, to be replaced with concern. But now he looked happy; fond as he watched Roy writhe under him.

“Mmm, yes…very…” Roy threaded his fingers through Ed’s hair at the back of his hair, pulling him down for a kiss. “Are you going to draw this out much longer?”

Ed’s grin was wicked again. “You asked me to not go too fast…”

It was hard to banter when Ed’s sinful fingers were working amazing things inside him, but Roy managed, “Well, all right, but the longer I go without you fucking me, the longer _you_ go without fucking me.”

Ed paused.

“I’ll get the condom.”

Ed pulled away and pulled _out_ and Roy groaned loudly, grabbed Ed by his retreating arm. “I don’t mind if we don’t use one,” he said, lust making his thoughts hazy. All he could process is that he needed Ed inside him _now._

Ed leaned forward, pecked him on the lips, and pulled away. “I do.”

Ed slipped off the bed and Roy sat up to watch him, reaching over the couch to get the bag he’d abandoned, rifle through and pull out a condom, then pad back over with a smile. He kneeled between Roy’s spread legs again, opened the package and rolled the condom on, biting his lip as he slicked some more lube onto himself.

Roy got comfortable against the pillows, Ed leaned over him, hair draped over one shoulder, and aligned their hips. With both hands, he spread Roy’s thighs a bit, pressed the head of his cock against Roy’s hole. He pushed in a bit and Roy pressed his lips together.

As Ed slowly pushed inside, the same old burn came back and Roy shut his eyes as if that would block it out. Then Ed wrapped his hand around Roy’s dick, stroked him slowly and leisurely as he kissed at his neck and Roy felt like putty in Ed’s hands.

It was easier after that—with Ed comforting him with every inch, kissing and nuzzling him until he was fully inside and when Roy reached up to stroke some stray locks off his shoulder, he felt the man shaking.

“Forgot how good it felt,” Ed muttered, golden eyes locked on his. “Fuck…let me know…” He circled his hips, helping Roy adjust to his girth, and Roy swallowed, focusing on the little bursts of pleasure that caused rather than the prevailing burning sensation.

Eventually the pleasure outweighed the burn and Roy stroked Ed’s bangs back, pulled him down to kiss him, and said, “You can move now, love,” and Ed groaned like he was in pain and pulled his hips to push back in.

Roy dug his blunt nails into Ed’s shoulders and Ed’s body curved over his, bracing his weight on his hands, fingers wearing holes in the sheets from how hard he was gripping them. He was moving, but it was slow, measured, pulling out just slightly and pushing back in with just a touch of force. It felt good, just as good as Roy remembered, but it also felt like Ed was holding back. And it wasn’t teasing anymore, if the look of complete concentration on Ed’s face was anything to go by.

“Ed, love…” He touched his fingers to Ed’s jaw, made him open his eyes and look down at him He smiled up at Ed and brought his face down so he could kiss those perfect lips. “You’re not going to break me. You can move more.”

“But you said…”

Roy kissed him again. Roy loved Ed, so he kissed him again. “I appreciate your concern, but I promise, I’m fine. You can move more. _Please_ move more.”

Ed frowned a bit, but then he rolled his eyes. “Well, gee, excuse me for being worried about your frail body, _old man_.”

Roy’s hand curled around the back of Ed’s neck, squeezed just a bit. “I can take anything you throw at me, _little boy._ ”

Ed growled. He pulled his hips back, pushed forward _hard_ and Roy gasped, head thrown back against the pillow. “Who the hell you callin’ _little_?” Ed hissed at Roy’s throat, teeth just scraping lightly there.

“Certainly not you,” Roy groaned, fingers spasming in Ed’s hair as Ed pushed into him again.

Then Ed did it one more time, then another, and another, and then Roy was just holding onto him as Ed lost himself to the back-and-forth, up-and-down, circle-your-hips-just-so rhythm of fucking him.

At some point, Roy stopped being able to tell who was moaning, their mouths so close together without actually touching, sounds just spilling from both of them unchecked as Ed fucked him harder and harder. Ed’s hand was curled in the back of his head, pulling him closer by his hair, pressing their foreheads together.

“Oh…” Ed’s rhythm slowed and he pulled away a bit, cocking his head a bit and Roy frowned up at him in question. “Your eyes…they’re not black.”

“Wh-What?”

“I always thought your eyes were black.” Ed kissed the tip of his nose, kissed his forehead, nuzzled their faces together like an affectionate dog and pulled away to smile down at him. “They’re just a really dark blue.”

He was still rocking his hips leisurely and the barely-there motion was verging on teasing again, frustrating Roy to the tips of his toes.

“You’ve only just noticed?” he asked instead of demanding Ed to continue.

Ed’s hand—long, slender fingers and wide palms—came up to brush the hair out of Roy’s face. “Guess I never really paid attention when we were this close together. Too distracted by…well…y’know.” Ed’s lips pressed softly against his. “But now I’m really lookin’ at you. Just really… _looking._ ”

“Like what you see?” Roy couldn’t help but smirk.

Ed paused. Stared. Then Roy got his answer in the form of Ed’s hard kiss and the sharp thrust of his hips. They didn’t really talk much after that.

Ed buried his face into the bend of Roy’s shoulder, Roy turned his own face to bury his nose in Ed’s hair, one hand threading through Ed’s hair and holding him there. His other arm was wrapped around Ed’s waist and his knees hitched higher around Ed’s hips.

Their skin was sweat-slick and slippery, but Roy tightened his grip on Ed’s body and Ed pressed in closer, pressed harder, and the headboard smacked against the wall in time with their thrusts.

“Fuck… _fuck…_ ” Ed gasped into the curve of Roy’s jaw. “So…close…wanna feel you…”

Roy felt himself on the verge as well, fingers digging into the muscles of Ed’s back as Ed pulled away just enough to get a hand between them. And then Ed was kissing him and stroking him at the same time as he was fucking him and stronger men than he could not have held out even if they wanted to.

The sound Ed made against his mouth as he came inside Roy would follow Roy to his grave.

Afterwards, Ed used every inch of his small frame to take up as much space on the bed as he could, sprawling face-down, limbs spread out like a starfish, and Roy was still on his back, stretching out his sore legs and blinking the stars out of his eyes.

Ed made small, happy kittenish noises as he burrowed his face in the sheets and Roy chuckled, tugging on the closest limb he could reach—his wrist—and pulling Ed closer. Ed crawled over to him, curled up against him, pillowed his nose on Roy’s throat and inhaled deeply.

“I take it you enjoyed that,” Roy chuckled, brushing through Ed’s hair.

“Mmm…yeah.” Ed suddenly tensed and sat up, looking down at Roy with a worried frown. “Why? Didn’t you?”

Roy laughed again, pulled him down, kissed him tenderly, and Ed relaxed against his chest.

"Can't believe after all this time, I just now noticed your eyes aren't black." Ed chuckled. He pushed himself up and pulled Roy's head down roughly making Roy make a noise of protest. "What, is your hair not black either?"

"I can assure you my hair is certainly not blue," Roy grumbled. Ed parted Roy's hair and examined it closely.

"You sure 'bout that?" Ed asked and Roy dug into the ticklish spot on his ribs, making Ed laugh and thrash, until he finally settled back down on his chest.

“Why were you here so early?” Roy asked, pressing a kiss to the top of Ed’s hair.

Ed turned his head and scraped his teeth against Roy’s nipple because he was a little shit. “Student I tutor unexpectedly cancelled on me. We were supposed to meet up in a café around the block and I was waiting there, but he called and said he couldn’t make it. Since I had to come straight here after that, there was no point in going home and coming back, so I just came here.”

“You tutor students in advanced quantum physics?” Roy asked apprehensively.

Ed snorted. “Of course not.” He buried his face in Roy’s chest. “I was just reading that for fun.”

***

“You still need to pick an intern to work at the office, sir,” Hawkeye was saying, demonstrating her great multi-tasking abilities by walking, typing on her tablet, and bossing Roy around all at the same time.

“Set up interviews then.” Roy casually stuck his hands in his pockets and glanced over his shoulder at Havoc following them. Havoc’s cigarette was finally lit—they were outside, out of the office, Hawkeye couldn’t say anything—and he looked bored, but Roy knew he had one hand on his gun and he was keeping a both ears and eyes open for any potential threats. Roy didn’t hire slackers to be his bodyguard, after all.

Hawkeye sighed beside him. “We had the interviews last week. You have to pick one.”

“Oh.” Havoc chuckled and Roy shot him a glare. Havoc just kept on smiling. “Well…then…why don’t you just pick one? I trust your judgment.”

“And he has no clue what the hell you’re talking about,” Havoc added.

“The best bodyguard is the one that no one knows is there,” Roy shot back.

“Then you shoulda hired him instead, boss.”

“I’ve already picked one out,” Hawkeye cut in through their bickering. “Kind of saw this coming. Her name’s Marta—her background check was clean and she comes highly recommended.”

Roy vaguely recalled short-cropped hair, thick lips, and a pretty decent rack. “Good choice, Hawkeye.”

She sighed again. “I figured you’d say that.”

The three of them rounded the corner and the entrance to the coffee shop they were headed to came into view. A tall, thick blonde man with glasses and a moustache was by the door, reading a newspaper.

“Looks like you’ll have a friend to keep you company, Havoc,” Roy grinned and Havoc’s eyes widened when he caught sight of the large man.

Once inside the coffee shop—Havoc keeping watch outside—Roy pulled off his coat and draped it over his arm. When he looked up, he froze.

Edward was there at the counter, being handed his drink by the barista, laughing at something a taller boy was saying to him. Roy almost didn’t recognize him at first. He was wearing soft jeans, a thick red hoodie, big black boots and his hair was down from its usual high ponytail, braided loosely down his back instead. It was such a change from his usually effortlessly stylish look; he looked like any other college student. But Roy would know those cat eyes and that sharp grin anywhere.

The boy he was with had short hair was the same shade of yellow as Ed’s, his eyes just a duller shade of gold. He was a bit bigger than Ed—the same breadth of shoulder, but with a thicker waist and hips, his jaw more squared than Ed’s. The resemblance was unmistakable, however. That was Ed’s younger brother Alphonse, the one Ed would talk about constantly and proudly.

That was one hell of a gene pool. Alphonse was every inch as beautiful as his brother.

Roy tried not to laugh at the thought of how much it must bother Ed that his younger brother was so much bigger than him, though.

As if he felt eyes on him, Ed looked over, saw Roy staring at him. He didn’t even react, not a twitch of muscle on his face, and he turned back to talk to Al.

Roy shook himself from the shock, glanced at Riza who was giving him an odd look, then continued on to the line to order their drinks. He tried very hard not to think about the complete lack of emotion on Ed’s face when he saw him. Not even a flicker. Did this mean that Ed didn’t care about him outside of that hotel room?

Roy swallowed thickly, breathed deeply. He was overthinking this. Ed just wasn’t reacting because, to the outside world, they were complete strangers. Outside of that hotel room, Ed didn’t know Roy and Roy didn’t know Ed and that was what they had to act like.

It still hurt, just a little.

Ed and Al were talking animatedly about something as they made their way to the door and Ed passed right in front of Roy, knocked his elbow against Roy’s arm and paused.

“Excuse me,” he said kindly, smiling up at Roy. “Wasn’t looking where I was going.”

Roy tried to remember how to make words. “It’s all right.”

“Have a nice day, _mister._ ”

Roy felt his eyebrow twitch. “You too, _kid._ ”

Gold eyes flashed dangerously for a second and Roy knew he would pay for that one later, and then Ed was out the door with his brother. Strangely enough, Al handed a second cup of coffee to Havoc’s new large friend, and the three of them sauntered down the street together.

Hawkeye watched the trio leave and then stepped up to Roy’s side, leaned in a bit and said low enough that only he could hear her, “Was that him, sir?”

Roy indulged in a smile. “Yes. That was him.”

***

Roy dreamed he had a very big hammer. He had a very big—a cartoonishly big—hammer and he was using it to smash giant bubbles of glass, but every time he smashed one bubble, five more appeared and he went around smashing the glass bubbles but they wouldn’t _stop_ appearing and there was a very loud buzz in his head that was making it hard to concentrate on smashing the damn bubbles.

He snapped into reality, woke up suddenly, and unstuck his cheek from the wooden surface of his desk to look around. The bubbles were now noise instead of glass, and the buzz continued.

_My phone is ringing,_ he thought blearily and reached over to grab his phone and answer it, just to get the damn cheerful ringtone to _shut up._

“’Lo?” he mumbled and hoped it wasn’t someone important.

“Mr. James?”

“Who?” he groaned, stretching out his arms, and then it clicked. No one had used that name with him for a while. “Er, yes. Yes, sorry. That’s me.”

“Right.” The girl on the other end sounded very unimpressed. “I’m calling from Yao Services. I have to inform you that Edward won’t be able to make it to your scheduled meeting this Thursday.”

Roy swallowed thickly, tried very hard to quell the dam of overreacting thoughts that were flooding his brain. “Oh, well, that’s too bad,” he said as calmly as he could. “Is everything all right?”

“Yes, everything’s fine. Something just came up. Your regular schedule will continue next week without a problem.”

“O-Okay then. Thank you for letting me know.”

“Of course, sir. Have a nice day.” She hung up.

Not for the first time, Roy wished he had Edward’s personal phone number. He knew he couldn’t ask for it; it wouldn’t be inappropriate. Because even though he knew—he _knew_ in the core of his being—that he was more to Edward than just a client, in reality, that was all he was, and they couldn’t pretend to be anything else.

***

Roy suddenly found himself at a loss. He always made sure to have his Thursday evenings clear, and now he didn’t have anything to do.

He texted Maes. **Something came up. Thursday suddenly open. Wanna do something?**

He had to wait three hours for a reply. **no can do. serial killer escaped. super busy. sorry.**

What a selfish bastard. Roy huffed and tossed his phone aside.

***

What did he used to do on Thursday evenings before he and Ed started their affair?

Did he used to watch television? Or read a book, maybe? Sit in his armchair and stare at an empty wall as he contemplated why his life was so empty?

Roy smacked himself on the forehead. He needed to get a grip. It was just any other regular weekday evening. He was home from work, he would have dinner with Julia, he would read the paper or watch the news or get some paperwork done, and then he would go to bed. Like any other weekday.

“Roy?” Julia asked curiously, entering the bedroom while he was changing out of his work clothes. “I saw your car in the garage…what are you doing home?”

Roy pulled on his sweatpants. “What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s Thursday.” She slipped off her heels and placed them carefully in her shoe rack, then pulled out the hair tie holding her chestnut hair in a bun. “Thursdays are the days you _work late._ ” Her tone made it very clear that she knew exactly what he did when he was ‘working late’.

Roy froze as he pulled the cotton shirt on over his head, swallowing thickly. He still hadn’t gotten used to Julia knowing about his activities, that she wasn’t raising a fuss or screaming for a divorce yet. He didn’t understand why she was so calm about it, why she treated it like it was nothing.

Was she the secretly homicidal type? Was she just bidding her time to kill him in his sleep?

“Something came up,” he said as calmly as he could, pulling his shirt down and Julia just hummed in response.

Her nonchalance was unsettling him. Maybe he should ask her if she wanted to talk about. Maybe they should have an open, honest discussion about this. Maybe Roy should tell her everything.

“Your birthday is next week, isn’t it?” he asked instead, because he was a coward and deserved to be taken out back and shot.

“Yes, it is.” She had changed into a pair of jean shorts and a long-sleeved sweatshirt. She re-tied her hair in a loose ponytail.

“Do you have any plans? Because I would love to take you out to dinner.”

Julia gave him an appraising look, lips pursed and eyes narrowed. “All right. We can go Friday night.”

“But doesn’t your birthday fall on Thursday? Do you have plans for that night?”

She cocked an eyebrow. “No, but don’t you?”

Roy’s mouth went instantly dry. “I…” He cleared his throat, averted his eyes for a moment, looked back at her and tried again, a gentle smile on his face. “I’m sure he’ll forgive me for taking my wife out to dinner.”

Julia’s thin, carefully plucked eyebrows curved upwards and then her face smoothed over and she shook her head, a small sad smile on her lips. “I should’ve realized it was a man.”

Roy wanted to reach out and take her hand, say something comforting, but she was already turning around, ponytail swinging, and saying cheerily, “We’ll go on Thursday. But you’re not getting any of my dessert. It’s _my_ birthday after all.”

***

Their reservation was at one of the fanciest restaurants in the city, one they’d come to on a few various occasions before. The food was good, the atmosphere was sophisticated, and it was ridiculously overpriced. Edward would probably hate this place.

Julia was looking beautiful in her black dress, silver heels, and a sparkling silver-and-emerald necklace with matching earrings. Her hair was loosely curled, with a few locks pinned back expertly, bangs swept to the side delicately. Her lips were painted a pastel pink and her perfume smelled like lavender.

Roy may not love her, but no one could deny that his wife was striking.

“You look absolutely stunning tonight,” he said after pulling her chair out for her and going around the small table to take his own seat. “Not surprising, but still breathtaking.”

Julia rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “Thank you. You look very handsome yourself, as always.”

“Why, thank you. Isn’t that the dress I got you last Christmas?”

“You may have paid for it,” Julia said, opening her menu, “but I’m pretty sure Riza picked it out for you.”

Roy chuckled. “Most likely.” His eyes fell to the glistening jewels dripping from around her soft neck. “These, however—” he reached over and trailed a finger over the necklace—“were all me. I remember thinking how much they matched your eyes.”

Julia fiddled with the emeralds, looking at Roy with an amused expression. “I’ve always said you have three settings—cold, calculating politician and sickeningly smooth charmer.”

Roy smirked. “And the third?”

“Well, you have to sleep at some point.”

He laughed.

Julia had always had a very calm, gentle presence to her that always made Roy feel very comfortable. She was easy to talk to, she was a good listener, and an interesting conversationalist, and her stories about her business partner Melissa were always fun. Melissa was a chef and with Julia running the administrative part of their business, they had a quite successful catering company together. But the polar opposite of organized and professional Julia, Melissa was a bit…eccentric, to say the least, and stories of her misadventures always got a laugh.

Roy himself had plenty of similar stories. The Tales of Love and Misfortune of Jean Havoc was an ongoing and seemingly endless saga, and Julia always loved hearing the latest installment. They often agreed that maybe they should try to set the two of them up. If nothing else, it would certainly be a fun show.

They talked about office gossip, current events, they made jokes, Roy complained about Maes, Julia told him to stop acting like Maes was nothing more than annoyance to him because no one was buying it, and when they brought Julia her dessert, she even let him have a bite of the cake when his puppy dog eyes got too intense to ignore. She did it with plenty of aggravated sighing and eye-rolling, though.

Dinner was an all-round pleasant affair and as they were driving home, Julia squeezed his hand and thanked him. He hadn’t seen her smile like that at him in a long time.

It was as they were climbing the stairs to their bedroom that Roy realized they hadn’t slept together since before he and Ed started their affair.

Julia undid the clasp of her necklace and placed it carefully in its box, along with the earrings, and then put the box back in its place among the rest of her expertly arranged jewelry. She slipped off her shoes as Roy was undoing his tie and waistcoat and then she called his name.

She had her back to him and was brushing her hair over one shoulder. “Could you unzip me? I can’t reach.”

“Of course.” He kicked off his shoes and placed them on the shoe rack before going over to her and pulling the small zipper down her back. His hand lingered on her waist and she looked absolutely tempting like this, half-dressed and still so elegant and beautiful. On impulse, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the slope where her neck met shoulder.

Julia pulled away from the contact slightly, turning her face to frown at him in question. He didn’t step away from her, but he did raise his head and quietly said, “I’m sorry…”

When she didn’t respond, just continued staring at him in confusion, Roy made to move away, but she placed one hand over the one he still had on her waist and he stopped, giving her a questioning look of his own. In one smooth motion, she was turning around to face him, and his arm was still around her waist, bringing them face-to-face and inches apart.

She gave him a challenging look then leaned up, on the tips of her toes, to kiss him. Roy’s other hand came up to cup her jaw, he leaned down a bit so she didn’t have to stretch so far, and her hand gripped both his arms as he deepened the kiss.

They separated for air for a moment, and Roy searched her face, watched her eyes. They were guarded, wary. Suspicious.

Roy tightened his grip around her waist, pressed her body against his. He kissed her jaw, moved his lips down her neck, ran a hand down her side.

“Why are you doing this, Roy?” she asked quietly, and Roy stopped, rested his forehead against her shoulder. “Are you just doing this because you think it’s what I want? Because you feel you owe me?”

“But I do owe you…” he muttered and raised his head, looking her in her now-cold eyes. “I have been failing you spectacularly as a husband lately, but at least I can do this right. Mostly, however…” He brushed her bangs from her face, stroked down her cheek, and ran his knuckles over her jawline. “You really are a remarkably beautiful woman, and I’d love nothing more than to take you to bed.” He pulled his hand away and gave her a little space as he said, “But if you’d prefer not to, I completely understand, of course.”

Julia pursed her lips thoughtfully, then twined her arms around Roy’s neck, not letting him move away any further. “I’d be lying if I said I haven’t missed you these past few months.” Roy choked back the rising guilt. “I just…I need to know if this is some kind of apology.”

Was Roy sorry? Was he sorry for meeting Edward? For falling in love with him? And if he did apologize for all of it, would he be willing to stop seeing Edward?

“No, it isn’t.” The only thing he regretted was having to hurt Julia in this whole business, but he wasn’t going to apologize for Edward.

“Hmmm.” She drummed her fingers against his shoulders as she thought. “So you aren’t sorry for it. Does that mean you love him?”

Roy swallowed. “Yes, I do.”

“Does he love you too?”

“I believe he does.”

Julia pulled him down, kissed him; Roy wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her back. “He might forgive you for cancelling on him to take me out to dinner tonight,” she said, “but would he forgive you for this?”

“I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong.” He almost believed it.

Julia gave him one last considering look before kissing him again. She let the little black dress slip off her shoulders and onto the floor and as she stepped out of it, she guided Roy backwards toward the bed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i said it was going to be 5 parts. i lied. it's going to be 6. part 6 is coming wednesday or thursday.

It’s funny how three weeks without Edward could make such an innocuous noise like a knock on a door the most beautiful sound Roy had ever heard in his life.

He didn’t bounce on his feet like an over-excited child as he opened the door, but it was a close thing.

“Edward, hell—oh.” There was Edward, in his usual pristine outfit, smiling his radiant smile, as beautiful as ever, and behind him…was a very large man. It wasn’t the same large man Roy had seen with him at the coffee shop the previous week. This one had black hair and darker skin, with great big sideburns that almost touched to make a wicked beard. He was even meatier than Havoc’s blonde friend.

“Yeah, I know.” Ed waved a hand dismissively. “Mr. James, this is Darius, Darius, this is—”

“I know who he is,” Darius rumbled. “I’ll be out here if you need me.” With that, he turned his back to them. Ed shot a glare at his broad shoulders, then shoved Roy back into the room and closed the door behind him.

“Asshole,” Ed grumbled. “Don’t know which one’s worse—him or Lion King.”

Roy just stared at him as he took off his coat huffily. When he hung it up and turned around to face Roy, it was with an expectant cocked eyebrow. “Well? You’d think after three weeks without seeing each other, you’d be a little more excited to see me.”

Roy smirked. “Would you like me to sweep you off your feet, carry you to the bed and have my dirty way with you?”

“Please,” Ed snorted, walking towards him. He nudged Roy’s shoulder with a fist, then walked past him to the couch.  “You’d throw out your back trying to carry me, old man.”

Roy followed him over to the couch, sat down next to him, body turned towards him and pressed a kiss to his mouth. “I really did miss you so much.”

Edward smiled, brushed their noses together, and kissed him again. Roy wanted to ask why Ed had cancelled without warning two weeks prior, but then Ed might return the query by asking why _he_ had cancelled the previous week, and that was a conversation Roy was trying to put off as long as possible.

“So, what’s with your large friend?” he asked, nodding towards the door. “And the other one. The blonde one. Do you have some kind of supply of huge muscled men?”

“No.” Ed rolled his eyes, turned over, and flopped down against Roy’s chest. Roy leaned back, adjusted himself so he was resting against the couch arm with Ed resting against him. “Ling does. I really don’t know where he finds these guys, but they’re enormous. And annoying as hell.”

“And why are they following you around?” Roy twirled the end of Ed’s ponytail around his finger.

Ed was quiet for a minute and Roy wished he wasn’t at an angle that he couldn’t see the expression on his face. “Ling’s revoked the ‘optional’ part of the bodyguard clause. They’re now mandatory again.”

“Well, that explains why one of your company’s secretaries called to tell me your rates had gone up twenty percent.”

Ed made a noise between a scoff and a chuckle. “She clearly didn’t know about the loyal customer discount. It’s only ten percent for you.”

“I’m honored.” He ran a hand over Ed’s shoulder, stroking softly, reveling in finally being able to touch Edward again. “So is this change for all employees?”

“Not sure. No one’s ever rejected a bodyguard ‘cept for me.”

Roy stilled. “So…what you’re saying is, Ling made it mandatory for _you_ to have a bodyguard. Why?”

“’Cause I’m valuable goods, duh.” Ed straightened up and turned around to face Roy again, smirk wicked, then crawled into his lap and started kissing his neck. One thing Roy loved about Ed was how open he was, and this was very openly a distraction tactic.

“Ed. Ed.” Roy gently pushed at Ed’s shoulder until Ed pulled away. “Ed, stop. What happened?”

“Nothin’.” Ed shrugged, a very bored expression on his face. “Ling’s just paranoid, all right?”

“Does this have anything to do with why you cancelled last time?” Roy really didn’t want to open that door, but something was clearly wrong, and it was gnawing a hole into his stomach. If Ed not only needed a bodyguard during his appointments, but also during such mundane activities as getting coffee with his brother, then something serious had happened. “Ed,” he said quietly, brushing a hand over the other man’s face, “did someone hurt you?”

Ed sneered, making a disgusted noise. “Jeez, no! Look, I’m _fine._ ” He ran an aggravated hand over his face. “You just gotta take my word for it, okay? It’s really not that big of a deal, but Ling’s making a huge fuss and, technically, I’m not even supposed to talk about it. Not yet, at least. It’s just…it’s kind of complicated. I know I’m not makin’ a lot of sense, but you just have to trust me, okay?” He cupped Roy’s face in both hands and looked straight into his eyes. “You trust me, right?”

“Of course I do.” It was a non-negotiable fact, something Roy didn’t question or think about too deeply. He trusted Ed, he believed Ed.

“Good.” Ed grinned hugely before kissing him. “So just trust me when I tell you that everything’s okay and I’m fine. Now…” He ran a thumb over Roy’s bottom lip, eyes turning heated. “Let’s take this to the bed so I can ride you into it.”

Roy knew when to pick his battles. It’s what made him such a good politician. Ed wasn’t going to say another word on the subject, no matter how much Roy pushed. And pushing any farther might lead to Ed getting seriously annoyed with him and getting angry, and it would take a while to calm him back down. Roy would just have to hide his curiosity and concern and just focus on having sex with Ed.

It would be difficult, but it was a sacrifice he had to make.

The sacrifice was made a little bit easier, watching the muscles of Ed’s back shift and move, the long cascade of gold shining in the light just for him, Ed’s beautifully sculpted ass clenching around his dick as the man worked over him.

Roy was content to sit back and watch as Ed fucked himself on his cock, but he also really wanted to taste, so he straightened up from where he was leaning against the pillows, pressed his chest to Ed’s back and tangled his fingers in the length of Ed’s hair to tug on it, exposing his neck to his mouth. Ed made a choked moaning noise in response and rocked his hips back and forth.

“Fuck, pull it harder,” he ground out, head thrown back against Roy’s shoulder. Roy hesitated, just as he always did when things started getting past the point of acceptable roughness—the lines were too blurred; he could never be sure if Ed _really_ wanted it—but Ed was the one asking for it, so who was he to deny him?

Teeth bared against the soft skin of Ed’s neck, Roy tightened his grip on the mess of Ed’s hair, gave it another tug, making Ed moan loudly and his dick twitch against his stomach, precome sticking to his abdomen. Roy reached a hand around Edward, ran his fingers over the leaking head, making Ed shudder against and _around_ him, and gathered up some of the fluid. He brought his hand up and pushed his fingers inside Ed’s slack mouth, and Ed instinctively closed his lips around the digits, sucking on them and groaning at the taste.

“ _Faster,_ ” Roy hissed in his ear and Ed let the fingers slip out of his mouth as he leaned forward, tightened his grip on Roy’s thighs where he was bracing himself, and started bouncing his hips faster and faster, head falling forward as he let out a loud, long delicious sound. “So fucking perfect,” he muttered into Ed’s skin, brushing his hair aside so he could shower kisses over his shoulders and neck.

Roy had survived three weeks without this. He’d managed to go almost a full month without seeing or speaking to Edward, without touching him. Roy was alive, his brain and his heart and his soul were all intact, his body had all its pieces and nothing was falling apart. For almost thirty whole days, Roy hadn’t had any contact with this beautiful, perfect creature and it was enough to know that the world would not crash down around him if he didn’t have Edward in his life and also enough to know that he never wanted to go that long without Edward again.

It wasn’t long after Roy curled his arm around Ed’s hips to jack him off in time with Ed’s movements that they collapsed back onto the bed together, spent and panting, Roy blinking back stars from his vision and pulling Ed closer to him.

Ed tasted like sweat and warmth and he just lay back with a soft smile while Roy peppered kisses all over him, over his shoulders and collarbones, his chest and down his arms, up his neck and over his face.

With a chuckle, Ed’s fingers trailed up Roy’s arm to curl around the back of his neck. “You really did miss me, didn’t you?”

Roy took the hand Ed had around his neck and brought it to his mouth, kissing each fingertip and then his palm before weaving their fingers together. “I’ll only admit it if you admit to missing me just as much.”

“And if I don’t?” Edward buried his face into the meat of Roy’s shoulder and Roy could swear he could feel the burning of his cheeks.

Because he was a bit of a sadist, Roy leaned over Ed to kiss his hair and murmur in his ear, “Then I guess I won’t tell you about how I thought of you every day, how much I craved your touch and your smile and your laugh, how I dreamed of you every night. I guess I’ll never get to tell you how much of a struggle it was for me.”

Ed rolled away from him, always keeping his face hidden, and then sat up on the edge of the bed, back to Roy and face in his hands. For a second, Roy was afraid maybe he’d said something wrong and that Edward was upset, but when he lowered his hands, Roy could just see the very bright blush on his cheeks.

“Suave fucking bastard,” Edward grumbled. He bent down and picked up his underwear from the ground, then stood up to tug them on before stretching his arms over his head and popping his back. “I need a drink. You want a drink?”

Roy frowned. Ed never drank while he was working. “What?”

“A drink,” Ed emphasized, walking over to the small bar. “You have them sometimes, remember? You want one?”

“Uh…no, thank you.” Should he ask?

Ed just shrugged and served himself a glass of amber liquid, sloshing it around in the glass a bit before taking a swig. He grimaced at the taste, making it that much clearer just how rarely he drank. Still, he sat himself down on the back of the couch (with a little hiss and shift of his hips), and drank some more.

“Ed?” Roy sat up on the bed, sheets loosely around his legs and hips to ward off the chill of the room, and watched his lover with curious eyes. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

“’M fine,” he muttered, taking another sip and not meeting Roy’s gaze.

“Really?” Roy quirked an eyebrow. “Because it looks to me like there’s something you want to say.”

Ed just shrugged, still not looking at him, and Roy had a feeling he knew what Ed was trying so hard not to say. Roy wasn’t too thrilled to talk about it either, but it would probably be better to just get it out of the way now.

“It’s about me cancelling last week, isn’t it?” he asked and Ed’s eyes finally flashed up to his.

With a frustrated groan, Ed swallowed down the rest of his drink with a tortured look on his face, then set the glass on his knee. “I shouldn’t ask, y’know…it’s not really any of my business. I mean, I don’t _think_ it’s my business, but maybe it is. If you and I are…y’know, _whatever_ …then it should be my business, shouldn’t it? But I’ve never done this before, so I can’t be sure if it is, if it has anything to do with me, or if I even have a right to an opinion about it.”

Roy just stared, because he really didn’t know how to respond to that. He hadn’t even been able to follow it completely.

“Ever since we saw you at the coffee shop, Al’s gotten it into his head that I’ve got some kind of crush on you. Which, to be fair, I guess I do. He doesn’t know _why,_ of course, but he probably just thinks that I think you’re hot or something, which I do, but that’s beside the point.” Edward rambled when he was nervous. It was endearing, but a little annoying, and Roy wished he would just get to the point. “So he’s gotten to teasing me about it every chance he gets. Which, by the way, did not make going three weeks without seeing you any easier. So he’s constantly showing me pictures of you from the news and talking about you and I don’t know what, and then a few days ago he pulls out this gossip rag, which I would otherwise avoid like the plague, but he seems to enjoy them like a little weirdo. So he pulls out this gossip rag and there’s this picture of you with your wife and you’re both dressed up all nice and you’re going to this fancy restaurant, and the caption says that ‘despite recent rumors of trouble in their marriage, the couple looks happier than ever’ or something, and it also mentions that you went there on Thursday. And Al thinks I’m a genius, but it doesn’t take one to figure out that that’s why you cancelled on me. To take your wife out to dinner.”

What was he going to do? Deny it? “I did.”

Ed got off the back of the couch and turned back to the bar to set his glass down, hand resting on the bottle of whiskey as if he wasn’t sure he should serve himself more. “Why’d you have to go on Thursday? Those are _our_ days.” There was nothing but accusation, sadness, and a little bit of hurt in Ed’s voice and it speared through Roy like a knife.

“It was her birthday,” he answered, hoping that would soothe the wound.

Ed turned to give him an appraising look before raising one shoulder in a conceding shrug and Roy thought that was the end of that, he’d dodged the bullet. But then—

“Did you sleep with her?”

Roy narrowed his eyes, not liking the cold edge Ed’s voice had taken. “Yes, I did.”

Ed made a disgusted noise, finally making up his mind and pouring himself some more whiskey. “Fucking great. And how often do you fuck her?”

A burst of rage blossomed in Roy’s chest and he grit his teeth, forcing himself to control his anger. He ripped the sheets off his legs and found his own pair of boxers on the ground to pull them on. He could feel an argument coming and he wasn’t about to have it completely naked.

“You were right earlier,” Roy said coolly. Ed cocked a questioning eyebrow at him. “When you said it wasn’t your business. It isn’t. And, no, you don’t have a right to an opinion on my relationship with my wife.”

Ed’s eyes widened in surprise before twisting into a sneer of rage, drink forgotten on the bar as he turned to face Roy completely. “Right. Because I’m nothing more than your fucking side piece.”

“You are my _lover,_ ” Roy growled, “and she is my _wife._ ”

“Yeah, the wife you got so fucking bored of that you came to _me._ You came to _me,_ and you told me that I meant something to you, but how the fuck am I supposed to believe you when you fuck me, then go home to your pretty wife and fuck her too? How is this fair, Roy? How is this fair to me?”

“Are you really upset with me for cheating on you _with my wife?_ ” Roy ran a hand over his face, pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed deeply. “I never pegged you to be a hypocrite, Edward. I slept with my wife for my own reasons, and they are my own. How dare you question them when I have never, _never_ questioned your motives for sleeping with countless other people? I’ve never gotten jealous or possessive or asked you to stop, have I?”

Ed’s face was red again, but this time it wasn’t out of embarrassment. “How fucking dare _you_ compare sleeping with the wife you claim not to love and me doing my _fucking job_? You absolute _fucking_ asshole!” He tangled his fingers at the ends of his loose hair and yanked, a more aggressive version of the nervous habit he had of tugging at the end of his ponytail. “You get everything—the wife, the success, the lover, and what the fuck do I get? I get you for a few hours once a fucking week. I’m twenty-fucking-two, Roy. I deserve a real relationship, with someone who will be there for me when I need them. Someone I can be with. But all I am is your dirty little secret and the only time I _ever_ get to see you is in this damn hotel room!”

Roy felt his blood freeze. He really should have seen this coming. How could he expect Ed to be content to continue on like this forever? It was always going to happen, and admitting that he hadn’t had sex with Julia since they started their affair wasn’t going to help matters, because that wasn’t really what was bothering Ed. There was nothing he could say to make this better, and suddenly the crippling fear that their tryst was finally reaching its end gripped Roy’s stomach and almost brought him to his knees.

“Hey, kid!” a rumbling voice called from beyond the door. “Everything okay in there?”

“Everything’s fine!” Ed shouted back. “Mind your own damn business, Donkey Kong!”

No, everything was _not_ fine. Roy was currently having a complete internal breakdown.

“And for your _fucking information_ , Mustang, not that it’s any of _your business,_ ” Ed was continuing, voice poisonous, oblivious to the way Roy’s brain was spinning out of control, “but I haven’t been sleeping with anyone other than you lately.”

The spinning skidded to a halt, leaving skid marks on the inside of Roy’s skull. “Wait what.”

Ed huffed out an angry breath, crossing his arms over his chest and levelling Roy with the most scathing glare Roy had ever seen. “Ever since you told me you loved me, I’ve cancelled on all my clients. Haven’t taken any appointments since then. At all. Which doesn’t help with Ling’s paranoia, now that I think about it…”

“So, that means…” Roy frowned. If Ed wasn’t making any money from his appointments with Roy anymore, and he wasn’t taking on any clients other than him… Ed wasn’t making any money out of his escort job. At all. The only reason he didn’t quit is because it was the only way they would get to see each other. “Oh…Ed…”

Ed looked away, suddenly bashful but no less angry. “I didn’t need them anymore, so I stopped seeing them.”

Roy sagged. He leaned his weight against the bedpost and sighed, running a hand over his hair. He had really screwed this whole thing up and he had no idea how to begin fixing it.

“Ed,” he said quietly, moving over to the statue-still blonde currently glaring at the Persian rug like he wanted to set it on fire. “Ed, love.” He reacted to the pet name, just a little twitch at the corner of his mouth, but he didn’t move when Roy touched his arm gently.

With soothing touches and petting of Ed’s arms and hair and face, Roy managed to get the man’s arms to uncross and fall to his sides with a sigh, and then he pulled at Ed’s wrist to guide him to the bed and sit him down on the edge. And, because this was a very critical moment and his pride had no place here, he got to his knees between Ed’s legs and took both hands in his.

“I don’t know what good it will do, or even if you’ll believe me,” he pressed a kiss to Ed’s knuckles, “but last week was the first time I’ve slept with Julia since you and I started our affair.”

Ed’s head was bowed to look at him and his long hair tickled at Roy’s cheek. Yellow eyes narrowed suspiciously, but then Ed sighed and averted his gaze with a sad tilt of his mouth.

“I’m sorry for being such a brat,” he muttered. “I really shouldn’t get so upset by it. She’s your wife, she was there first, and I know you care about her even if you don’t love her, and I guess I love you for that, so I shouldn’t complain.” Roy’s heart stuttered in his chest. Ed had never said those three words to him before. “But I can’t really help but be jealous and I feel like a selfish little kid, but I don’t wanna share you with anyone. I just want you all to myself and it’s not fair. None of it is fair. It’s not fair of me to ask you for so much when I know you can’t give me any of it, but I can’t help but want it…”

“Ed…”

“And it’s also not fair that I can’t have it, but what the hell am I going to do about it? I can’t ask you to leave your wife for me and tell the world we’re together. God, that would be awful for you, wouldn’t it? It would just ruin your whole image and then no one will ever trust you again, and your career would plummet and I don’t want that. Fuck, that’s the last thing I want.” He pushed one of his hands through Roy’s hair and held it there, smiling softly down at him. “This is probably going to go straight to your already over-inflated head, but you’re a great man and you’re going to do great things and I’d hate it if I were the reason that you couldn’t do them.”

Roy knew enough about break-ups to know what this was.

“Edward, please.” Maybe his voice broke, but Ed didn’t say anything.

“I didn’t want to tell you this so soon…” He let his hand fall from Roy’s hair to his shoulder, stroking his neck with his thumb. “I was hoping to at least get a second round in before telling you. But…Al’s moving to England soon.” Roy frowned and Ed swallowed. “He’s graduating next month and he’s got an internship offer with a big pharmaceutical company in London, so he’s leaving around the end of summer. I—I was thinking of going with him.”

“You’re…leaving?” Roy consciously knew that his world would not fall apart if Edward left, he _knew_ that. He had survived almost a full month without Edward and it was only a minor inconvenience. But there had always been the promise of seeing Edward again soon; it was never meant to be something permanent. But this, this was different, and Roy didn’t know if he could manage it.

Ed shrugged and his voice came out thick when he answered. “I don’t know. Maybe. Al thinks it’ll be good for me, Ling thinks it’ll be good for me. Ling’s got connections and he’ll help me score an actual, decent, accepted-by-society job in London. To be honest, I don’t really have anything to stay for here if Al’s leaving.” He eyed Roy meaningfully and Roy really wished he could be the one thing that Ed would stay for. “If I don’t leave, I’ll have to start taking clients again. London’s not cheap and Al’s internship is going to pay his grad school studies, but not anything else and he won’t be able to take on a job with the internship and his studies, so I’m going to have to help him out… I just—I really think I should go with him.”

Roy was up on his feet in an instant, leaning over to crush Ed’s face into his shoulder, pulling him close and burying his face into Ed’s hair. Ed’s arms slowly came up to wrap loosely around his waist.

“What if I was the selfish one?” Roy whispered. “What if I asked you to stay instead of you asking me to choose?”

Ed laughed and it sounded like he was crying. “You wouldn’t do that. I wouldn’t let you. Why would you want me to stay?”

_Because you laugh like a dog. Because you talk about your brother like he hung the stars. Because you talk about advanced scientific theorems like they’re the recipe to your favorite dessert. Because you put away enough food to feed all of the homeless in the city. Because you have a dreadfully short fuse and you’d probably get mad that I used the word ‘short’ and because you always pull me closer when I pull even an inch away and you can go from childishly stubborn to knee-wobblingly seductive in less time than it takes for me to blink. Because you mumble in your sleep and you cuddle like an octopus and you make me laugh and I love you so much it makes me want to work harder so that someday I can make this place somewhere worthy of someone as beautiful as you living in it._

“I’d just cause trouble for you and you know it.” Ed pushed Roy away gently so he could stand up and tried to give him his most winning smile, but it fell short. Roy wanted to tell him that, to make him angry and incensed. Anything but this sad, calm acceptance. “Cheating on your beautiful wife with a male prostitute half your age? C’mon, Roy. You know the media will rip you apart and you’d never recover.”

Roy sat down on the bed and Ed turned away, started picking up his discarded articles of clothing. Then he started pulling his clothes on, getting ready to literally walk out of Roy’s life, all the while talking about how he was doing Roy a favor by doing so.

“It’s for the best. I’ll move to London with Al, you stay here and make the world a better place.” He was still shirtless, pulling on his socks and boots, and Roy didn’t know what he could possibly say to make him stay. Logically, he knew Ed was making sense, he knew everything he was saying was the undeniable truth. But all he could think about was sweeping Ed up and running off to some country where no one knew their names and no one would care if they were together. All he could think about was crawling on his knees and begging Ed not to leave him.

“You get it, right?” Ed was halfway through buttoning his shirt, his eyes were wide and earnest and Roy felt like something had broken inside him. “You know I’m right, don’t you?”

Roy’s fingers curled in the sheets and he stared at his bared knees as he pleaded in a hoarse voice, “Please don’t leave.”

Ed’s hands fell to his sides, fists clenched, and he turned his face away, screwed his eyes shut and for a moment he was quiet. He wasn’t finishing getting dressed, he wasn’t leaving, and Roy was grateful for that.

When Ed opened his eyes, they were shining with moisture. “I’m going now. It’s better for me, and sure as hell better for you. And I know you think so too. I know you do. You just…just have to realize it.”

He tugged on his waistcoat and suddenly he was fully-dressed and if Roy was going to say anything to stop him, now was the time to do it. But nothing came.

Ed took a step toward him, then paused, stared at him for a moment and averted his eyes again. If Ed came to kiss him goodbye, or even close enough for Roy to touch him, Roy would pull him down and never let him go ever again, and Ed probably knew that. And maybe he knew that if he let Roy hold on to him, he’d never step away again.

“Bye, Roy,” he muttered, turned on his heel and rushed to the door. He grabbed his coat from the hanger and Roy finally found his voice.

“Ed.” The blonde man froze like he’d been zapped and didn’t turn around. “The money’s in my coat pocket,” was what came out of Roy’s mouth. “Take it.”

Ed hesitated. “Nah. Consider it a parting gift.”

“Edward, please—”

“Yao Services thanks you for your business, Mr. Mustang,” Edward said forcefully. “Have a nice day.”

The door opened, there was a questioning grunt from the large man outside, and Ed slipped through it. The door closed and Roy just sat there in the hotel room he’d grown so familiar with.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here it is!! the last chapter!! tbh this is like not as exciting or emotional as the last one? sorry? it's just kind of closing up roy's conflict so i can kick it in the ass to make room for ed's conflict in the sequel. which is still in development. idk when i'll post the first chapter of that or if i'm gonna stick to weekly updates like with this one or what i'm gonna do i have no idea give me like a week to figure it out and i'll get back on track. i'll probably talk about it on my writing tumblr a lot, so check that every now and then if you wanna stay caught up.
> 
> ok here it is, enjoy!

Roy gripped the phone like it was a lifeline, each ring mocking the throbbing in his head, and when he heard Maes’ voice answer, he felt like maybe things weren’t completely falling apart.

“Hey, Roy.” Maes sounded weary, tired, and Roy knew his friend was busy with work, but he could spare a minute or two for him, couldn’t he?

“Hey, Maes…look, I know you’re busy, but…” Roy leaned his head back against the door. He hadn’t managed to do much in the hour or so since Edward had left. He’d sat on the bed for a while until his head stopped spinning, found his shirt and buttoned it half way, dragged himself to the entrance and pulled his phone out of his coat pocket before sliding down to the floor. He wanted to talk to Ed, he wanted to see Ed, but he couldn’t. Maes was his only other option. Maes always made everything better.

“Roy?” Maes said, concern in his voice now. “You don’t sound too good. Have you been drinking?”

Roy choked out a dry laugh. He’d thought about it. Ed had left a full glass of whiskey untouched on the bar and it had called to Roy, but he’d refrained. “No. I need to drive home.”

“Home? Where are you?”

“The hotel.”

“The hotel? What hote—oh.” Maes was quiet for a minute and then he said softly, “Did something happen with Edward?”

And suddenly Roy felt like crying. “He…He left, Maes. He told me it was over, and he left.”

“Fuck, Roy…”

“Said it like he was doing me a favor, too, which I think is the most fucked up part of this whole thing. How can feeling like _this_ be a good thing? In _any_ context?”

“Like this?” There was a clicking noise on the other end and Roy could picture Maes at his desk at the police station, leaning back in his chair, clicking a pen as he listened to Roy whine. “What does it feel like?”

In all his life, Roy had only felt pain like this once before. “Remember when we were together and we got wasted at that bar, this guy started flirting with me and we started making out and you got so mad you dragged me outside—”

“Roy—” The clicking stopped.

“You told me that I was nothing but an easy slut and I would open up for anyone who so much as smiled at me, and that you couldn’t deal with someone as selfish and self-obsessed as me, then you went home with the bartender to get back at me. You remember that, don’t you?”

Maes sighed heavily. “How could I forget? It was the nastiest fight we ever had, and I thought we promised never to mention it again.”

Roy covered his face with his hand. “I know, I’m sorry. It’s just…I feel kind of like I did when I found you with the bartender. Only about…ten times worse.”

“Jesus, Roy…”

“He’s going to London, Maes. He’s moving to England with his brother and he’s going to be happy there, he’s going to get a job, and date someone who won’t treat him like a nasty secret, someone who he can be seen in public with, and someone who no one will care if they’re seen out on the street together. Someone who’s career won’t be ruined because they’ve fallen in love with an impossibly beautiful brat.”

“That probably has nothing to do with you.”

“Except it does. He told me he would stay if he had something to stay for. But what can I offer him? Clandestine meetings and constant lying to those closest to him? He’ll never be able to introduce me to his brother, who is hands-down the _most_ important part of his life to him. I can’t take him out on dates, I can’t buy him nice gifts, I can’t get him a cake for his birthday—hell, I don’t even know when his birthday is. I’m never going to learn the little things about him and his life, how he takes his coffee or if he sings in the shower. He probably leaves a goddamn wig of loose hairs in the shower drain with all that ridiculous hair of his.”

“Roy, you’re babbling.”

Roy groaned, pulled up his knees and dropped his head onto them. “I miss him, Maes. He’s been gone for less than two hours and I feel like I’m drowning because I know I’ll never see him again.”

The clicking continued. Maes was thinking. “That pain is temporary, Roy. It’ll hurt for a while, but eventually you’ll be okay.”

“Will I?” Roy laughed a bit hysterically. “Will I, really? Think about it, Maes. I lost you because I wasn’t good enough for you, I’m probably going to lose Julia soon because she deserves better than me, and I’ve lost Edward because I can’t give him what he needs. This is what it felt like—when I saw you with the bartender, when Edward told me we couldn’t see each other anymore. I feel inadequate, I feel like I’m not good enough, like I never will be and I’m cursed to be alone because I will never be enough for someone else.”

“Okay, that needs to stop.”

“What?”

“The whole ‘woe is me, woe is me, I’m all alone for the rest of my days’ crap because first of all, you never lost me. I’m still here, aren’t I?”

“Maes, you know what I mean.”

“I know what you mean, and it’s still bullshit, because I’m _still here._ As for Julia…well, there’s not much to do on that front. You’re kind of screwed there. But!” Maes paused for dramatic effect and Roy couldn’t help but smile a little. “All is not lost, my friend. You still have one more chance to change your destiny as a perpetual bachelor.”

“What do you mean?”

“Fix things with Ed, Roy.”

Maes said it like it was just a simple household chore. Change the lightbulb, Roy. Water the plants, Roy. Take out the garbage, Roy. Rearrange your entire life structure for the chance to change the mind of one stubborn kid, Roy. “You make it sound so simple, Maes.”

“It won’t be simple, but if you love him as much as you say you do, it’ll be worth it.”

Roy groaned, pulling himself to his feet and mussing up his hair in frustration. “So how do I go about fixing this?”

“Well…” Roy heard the scraping noise of Maes scratching his scruff. “You said he would stay if he had a good enough reason to. So just give him a good enough reason to stay.”

Roy refrained from telling him that he would get right on that, and then afterwards he would single-handedly reverse global warming and cure cancer, because if he succeeded in that, then he could probably do any number of other impossible things.

***

Thinking about it that night, Roy didn’t sleep. The darkness has a way of making people underestimate their problems; the comfort of a soft bed and warm sheets against skin makes everything feel distant, far away. It gives people perspective, and such comfort is a dangerous tool to use when making important life decisions, because at that moment, deciding to rearrange every single aspect of his life to fit one young man into felt as easy as choosing which tie he would wear in the morning.

The morning, however, has a way of making people realize how stupid they had been, just hours before in the comfort of drowsy decision-making.

Roy drank his first cup of coffee and thought about how bad a divorce would look to the public.

Roy signed paperwork and thought about how easy it would be for proof of his adultery to get out.

Roy went over campaign ideas with his staff and thought about how pathetic he would look with a lover so much younger than him.

Roy had lunch with his boss and thought about how people were already barely tolerant of his openly bisexual nature and that they wouldn’t be able to ignore it if he came out with a male lover.

Would Edward even want to be made a public spectacle of? He wouldn’t really have a choice, if he wanted to be with Roy. People would take pictures of him on the street, they would be harassed if they ever went out in public together, their relationship would be questioned and picked apart at every turn. And even if they managed to keep the adultery a secret, it would be difficult to hide that Edward was an escort. The media would rip not only Roy into shreds, but Edward as well.

Roy would have to use every single skill he had to talk his way around the controversies it would generate, and even though he had every confidence in his skills of extreme wordplay and bullshittery, he wasn’t sure he would succeed in that battle.

If he failed, he wouldn’t be the only one to suffer. It would take a toll on Edward, and Riza was right—his entire staff would deal with the consequences as well. This wasn’t just a matter of altering his own life for Edward; he would be altering everything. Was keeping Edward around, as much as Roy loved him, really worth it?

“Sir, please.” Riza huffed irritably, glaring at him sitting on his desk like a lifeless doll. “You’ve been useless all day. If you won’t focus, then I really have no choice but to ask you to go home early.”

Riza didn’t _ask_ anything. She commanded underhandedly.

“Hm?” Roy mumbled, mind still spinning with how hard he was thinking. His overly-critical mind had served him well over his life, being able to look at a conflict from every angle and weighing out the consequences to the benefits rather efficiently. But this one time, his honed decision-making ability was corrupted; it knew that the consequences far outnumbered the benefits, but the one simple benefit of having Edward for himself felt like it outweighed everything else.

Maybe Roy had been a little distracted all day.

“That’s it.” Riza pulled the packet of papers he had been failing to read for the past hour and stuffed it into a binder she was holding. “Go home, sir. Rest. You’re no use to us distracted like this.”

They stared at each other for a moment, Riza with a slightly challenging lift to her eyebrow, as if daring him to argue, and Roy simply considering her.

“Hawkeye, may I ask you something?” When all else failed, he could always rely on other people’s opinions. He already knew Maes’ thoughts, and Riza was the only other person he trusted enough to know what to do.

“This is about that boy, isn’t it?” Riza asked, cocking her head. The rest of the staff stopped whatever they were doing and turned to look at them. Even if he’d never openly discussed it with them, they all knew about his affair. He trusted them all enough to not keep it a secret.

“How did you know?”

“You saw him yesterday,” she replied easily. “I imagine it was a tense reunion after not seeing each other for three weeks. Considering the reason you missed last week.”

Roy smirked. “You’re really too perceptive for my own good.”

“Something happened, didn’t it? With you two?” Roy didn’t answer, which was an answer in itself. “If you want to know my opinion, I think that if you can do something to fix it, you should.”

“Really?” He gave her an appraising look, head cocked and eyebrow raised. “You do realize that that means—?”

“I may have been a little unreasonable when I berated you last time.” She adjusted the binder in her grip and looked down at it thoughtfully. “I think I told you that you didn’t have a right to mess it up, because we would all go down with you whether or not we had a choice. I’d like to amend that statement.” Riza locked gazes with him and said severely, “We will not allow you to mess it up, and we will work as hard as it takes to make sure that you are allowed to have what makes you happy as well as succeed professionally.”

“Damn right we will,” Breda agreed, nodding once. As Roy’s public representative, he’d have to deal with the majority of the media backlash if he did this, so his support was actually a huge relief on Roy. At their own desks, Falman and Fuery nodded emphatically in agreement.

“You’ve been so much more pleasant to work with these past few months,” Havoc said idly around his cigarette-substitute toothpick. “I’d probably quit if you and this guy broke up. You’d be insufferable.”

Roy glared at him.

“Sir,” he added lamely and Roy rolled his eyes.

“I guess my decision’s made, then,” he said, turning to Riza, who was smiling her small smile at him.

Roy grabbed his coat from the back of his chair, stuffed his phone in his pocket, and gave them all one last reassuring smile-and-nod. Fuery’s desk was closest to the door and he looked so earnest with his supportive smile that Roy couldn’t help but ruffle his hair as he passed him on his way out.

“All this paperwork will be waiting for you when you return on Monday, sir,” Hawkeye said and Roy winced.

It was a talent, the power that woman could hold over him. A terrifying talent.

But Roy couldn’t stick around to dwell on that. He had to go home and ask his wife for a divorce.

***

It really shouldn’t be so difficult. There was no reason for Julia to refuse to divorce him. Why would she want to stay with him? This was probably the easiest part of re-structuring his life—convincing Julia to split up. It would be difficult _after_ this. When word of his divorce got out, when he had to deal with making public statements regarding his personal life, when he brought Edward into it, when he would have to explain their relationship to others.

Asking for a divorce was a walk in the park compared to that. So why was he so nervous?

Roy splashed cool water over his face at the kitchen sink, then paced around the kitchen, waiting for Julia to come home. She was usually home before him, but since he had left early, he had no choice but to wait anxiously for her to arrive.

The gravel outside crunched under car tires and Roy froze. He sat himself down at the kitchen table, tried to look as calm as possible. The car door opened and closed, followed by the faint clicking of Julia’s heels on the short walkway that led to the front door. Her keys jingled as she unlocked the door and stepped inside.

“Roy, dear?” she called and Roy sucked in a huge breath.

“In the kitchen,” he replied, and her clicking heels got louder as she made her way through the hall.

“You’re home early again.” She placed her keys back in her purse and hung her purse on one of the coat hooks next to the hall closet. “Is everything all right?”

Roy tapped a finger against the wooden tabletop. “Not exactly,” he said slowly, not meeting her eyes.

Julia watched him for a moment from the kitchen entrance, then sighed and slipped out of her heels, leaving them carefully against the wall before going over to sit with him at the table. “Is this about your job? Or is it about us?”

“My job is fine.” He sat up straighter and looked her in the eye. He would not be a coward about this. “We’ve been avoiding talking about this for a while now, Julia. I think it’s time we were finally open about it.”

Her mouth quirked sadly. She propped her head on her hand, elbow on the table and watched his eyes. “He finally asked you to leave me for him, didn’t he?”

“No.” Ed would never be so selfish. He was childish and apparently possessive, as their last discussion had proved, but he would never force Roy to choose. “This is my own decision.”

“Really?” Julia actually looked surprised.

“Edward left me yesterday,” Roy admitted and Julia’s eyebrows shot up into her hair. “I will admit that this decision is mostly because I’m hoping he’ll take me back if I do this. But even if he doesn’t, I would still think I’m doing the right thing. You deserve someone better than me. You are a remarkable person, Julia, and you should be with someone who loves you the way you deserve to be loved.”

“Well, I can’t deny that,” she muttered, looking away pensively. Roy frowned. She was being way too calm about this, just like she was about him having an affair in the first place. Julia didn’t have much of a temper and she had always had a very peaceful disposition, but this situation called for a little anger, maybe some hurt? She could at least shed a tear or sniffle a little bit, couldn’t she? This was six years of her life that she had thrown away. Why wasn’t she even reacting to this? Even if she knew it was coming, she should still show some emotion.

“You’re not even remotely upset,” Roy told her.

“That’s not true!” she exclaimed. “I’m upset you beat me to the punch. I was planning on making you a big dinner tomorrow and then sitting you down and having this long discussion about our relationship and where we were both going with our lives and yadda yadda, and then you come along and ask for a divorce one day sooner. You know how much I hate having my plans ruined, Roy.”

Roy blinked at her. “Will you still make me that big dinner?”

Julia kicked him under the table. Roy laughed. Why had he been nervous, again?

“Well, I guess since we’re having this conversation one day earlier than I had planned—” she shot him a glare—“I might as well tell you now.” She took a deep breath, looked him in the eye and said, “I’m pregnant.”

Roy almost fell out of his chair. He felt all the blood draining from his face, his hands gripped the side of the table, and such a simple bodily function like breathing was completely lost to him. His efficient decision-making mind had never considered _this._ “But—I—we,” he spluttered, “we—we used protection—I—”

Julia was giggling. She was _giggling_ into her hand. “Oh, you should see your face.” She pat his hand with hers. “Really, that was cruel of me, but I couldn’t help it. You kind of deserved that.”

“ _What?_ ” Roy snapped. His vision was blurred with rage. “You shouldn’t joke about things like that, Julia! I was about to faint!”

Julia laughed harder. “I wouldn’t joke about something like this, Roy. I really am pregnant. A little less than four weeks along.”

Roy’s brain really couldn’t take much more of this. It sputtered like an old car engine, gave a weak attempt at basic function, and then crashed. “What.”

With a weary sigh, Julia got up and went to the fridge, grabbed two glasses and filled them with water. “Really, Roy, did you think you had a monopoly on adultery? I’m surprised you weren’t even a little bit suspicious, especially after I refused the champagne at dinner last week.”

“I—I just thought…you had to work the next day, and champagne always goes straight to your head. I thought you were just—” She placed one glass of water in front of him and sat down again, sipping at her own. He took a large gulp of his, and realized—“Hold on one damn minute. If you’ve been cheating on me as well, then why the hell did I ‘deserve’ for you to scare me like that just now?”

“Oh, you didn’t deserve it because you were cheating. I’m no hypocrite. You deserved it because—well, because I’m a bit bitter, I suppose.”

“Bitter? About what?”

Her mouth twisted a bit as she frowned down at her glass of water, and she suddenly looked as hurt and angry as Roy had been waiting for her to look. “I guess it’s petty, but…I know you realize that the situation you’re in with this man isn’t going to be easy on your career. It’s going to make it very difficult, maybe even impossible. I just…” She let out a sad little breath and said, “I guess it hurts a bit, knowing that you’re willing to throw away everything you married me to protect, just for this one man.”

This whole conversation had been a draining roller coaster of emotions from the beginning, and Roy suddenly took a turn into anger again. It was one thing for Ed to say it, or Maes to think it, or the whole public to speculate it—but for Julia herself to believe it was too much.

“You think I married you to preserve my image?” he asked, voice hard.

“Didn’t you?”

With a long sigh, Roy reached out and took Julia’s hand. “I married you because you’re smart and honest and dependable. No, I’ve never been in love with you, but I would have happily lived my entire life married to you if Edward hadn’t come along.” Julia frowned in confusion and Roy tried again. “I married you because you’re safe, and I knew I wouldn’t fall in love with you, so you could never hurt me, and I could live a nice, comfortable life with you. It was wrong of me, because you didn’t deserve to be married to someone who would never love you, but I wasn’t thinking straight when I proposed. I was selfish, and I’m sorry, but it was never for my image.”

Julia gave his hand a squeeze with a smile. “It’s not all your fault, I guess. I think I knew it at some level even then, and I still said yes.”

Roy gripped her hand, fiddled with her fingers, and gave her a knowing look. “So. This baby of yours. You don’t do anything unless it’s been meticulously scheduled and organized months in advance, so I doubt this was some kind of accident.”

“Ah, you know me too well. I’ve been planning this for a while, so we both get the best possible outcomes from our divorce.” She let go of his hand and straightened up in her seat like she was making a business proposition. “The father’s name is Ricky, he’s a waiter from my dad’s country club. I think you’ve seen him around. Anyways, we’ve been together for almost a year now.”

Roy gaped. She’d been cheating on him for that long and he hadn’t even realized?

“You know how I’ve always wanted a child, and he does too, and we love each other, so I don’t see any reason why we shouldn’t have one. He’s from Costa Rica and he wants to raise our child there, so as soon as the divorce is settled, I’ll be moving with him. I’ve been grooming my protégée Annie to take over my job with the catering business, so Melissa won’t be left alone. All _you_ have to do is get your people to spread around the rumors of my infidelity and ‘accidental’ pregnancy, which will give you a perfectly good reason to divorce me, then make a public statement about it. You’ll have to figure out when to introduce your boyfriend by yourself, though. I can’t help you there.”

Roy frowned at her, cocked his head at her and inquired slowly, hoping he had misunderstood her, “You want me to make you look like a cheating harlot for the sake of keeping my own infidelity a secret?”

Julia just shrugged. “I’m going to be living in Costa Rica, I don’t really care what people here think of me.”

“But—but—” Roy spluttered again. “You have family here, you have friends here, and you’re going to have them all believe that you went and got yourself knocked up and ran away!”

“But isn’t that exactly what I’m doing?” Julia looked at him like he was being extremely amusing. “Why are you so upset about this? This way, you’ll look like the poor, hurt victim and it’ll be much easier to bring in your lover, claiming he’s helping you heal or something from my betrayal.”

“I will not play the victim at your expense!” Roy rubbed a hand over his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose, and released a large breath. “When I started this career path, I swore I would do it in a sincere, wholesome way and I would never make anyone look bad just to make myself look better. If I won’t even do that to my own opponents, how could you ask me to do it to you?”

“Well then how do you propose we go about this?”

Roy was quiet for a moment. He rubbed his knuckles against his jaw and tapped a finger against the tabletop, thinking. Julia simply watched him as his wheels turned, confident that he couldn’t come up with a better idea.

Slowly, Roy smiled, and with a little shrug he said, “We’ll just…tell them the truth.”

Julia looked at him like he had grown a second head and he laughed.

“Part of it, at least. I’ll have to talk to Breda to work out the details, but…” He traced circles on the table as he put together all his thoughts. “The media already suspects us of having marital problems. We’ll just confirm their suspicions. Tell them we’ve been considering a divorce for a while, and we both agreed to date other people. It was a mutual understanding between all parties involved, as far as the public is concerned.”

Julia didn’t look convinced. “Roy…that’s…very kind of you, but I really don’t need you to protect my reputation. Even if an open relationship looks better in print than an affair, a lot of people aren’t going to be happy about it. Conservatives in particular are going to use this as an excuse—”

“Conservatives will use whatever they can to make me look bad. They don’t like my attitude, my views, and they certainly don’t like my sexuality, and they never have. That doesn’t mean I have to cater to their needs at every turn to try to make them like me, especially when I know they never will.”

“But it doesn’t mean you have to hand them ammunition on a silver platter, Roy!”

Even when discussing their divorce, Julia was still looking out for him and his career. Roy smiled a bit to himself. Maybe she wasn’t his ideal partner, but he was definitely glad to have her by his side.

“Thank you for caring so much, Julia,” he said, taking her hand again. “It means so much to me that you still support me despite everything, but this is how I’m choosing to go about it. I refuse to throw you under the bus just so I can catch a ride. So, please, just go with me on this.”

Julia just watched his face for a moment longer before heaving a huge sigh. “It’s your career, I guess. I’m still not convinced, but if you’re sure…” With a small smile, she stood up and leaned over to kiss his forehead. “You should call him. This little plan of yours won’t be as convincing if I’m the only one with a partner.” She gave him a wink, then turned and grabbed her heels before heading up the stairs.

Roy watched her go, then chewed on his lip anxiously as he pulled out his cellphone from his pocket, but he didn’t dial any number. He had no way of contacting Ed directly, so if he refused to make an appointment with him, Roy had no way getting in touch with him.

Steeling his nerves, Roy dialed the number. He was just making an appointment. He’d done it before.

“Yao Services, how may we service you today?” the cheery girl on the other end said.

“Yes, hello. I would like to make an appointment.” He licked his lips. “Is Edward available?”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, sir. Edward is no longer taking any clients.” Roy had known it was coming, but that didn’t stop the swell of disappointment in his chest. “Would you like someone else? We have a great variety. I could recommend—”

“No,” Roy cut in. “No, thank you. That won’t be necessary.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I know this is a stretch,” he said with a self-depreciating laugh, “but if you see him, could you just—just tell him that Mr. James called. That’s all.” He wouldn’t ask her to pass on a message or give Ed his number; he sounded pathetic enough already.

“I’ll let him know,” she said, sounding annoyed now, and Roy doubted Ed would ever find out he had called.

“Thank you.” Roy hung up and groaned, resting his head on the table.

There were other ways he could find Ed. He could ask Maes to run a search on him at the police department. He could go back to the hotel and talk to that friend of his, Rose. He knew Ed went to that coffee shop a few blocks away from his office. He’d sit there all day and wait for Ed to come around if he had to.

There was only a slim chance Ed would even listen to him, and Roy was feeling extremely creepy thinking of all the possible ways he could hunt the man down, but he at least had to tell Ed that he was willing. He had to at least let Ed know that Roy would fight for him if Ed only let him. Because Roy loved Ed with every inch of his being and he would never forgive himself if he didn’t at least try.


End file.
